Do you experience epistemic loneliness?
According to some of the posts I've seen here, I think this is a thing. In case you haven't heard of the term:
Epistemic loneliness is a distinct cognitive form of isolation that occurs when you are profoundly unable to share, explore, or mutually develop complex ideas with others, even when you possess the requisite communication skills.
I've experienced this and also know people who have.
Maybe social difficulties are more of an environment thing rather than a personality trait, day by day I lean more into the environment hypothesis.
Sure some people could use a boost in their social awareness or confidence, but it takes time especially if you're stuck in an evironment that feels unstimulating or draining, or if you feel alone in how you see the world.
Also of course, people waste a lot of time in small talk missing opportunities for connection based on the things that make life a strange and precious adventure.
Following the environment hypothesis I think this demands an architectural solution rather than addressing the problem psychologically or individually.
So I came up with an architecture for good conversations based on interests (you'd say this is very intj?).
The strucrtural answer I reached is Pollen. People's topics of interest are taken, then, a question that connects them is posed to start a temporary group conversation.
So what do you think, through your life have there been environments that made you feel comfortable, like people cared to get into topics that were interesting to you and moved away from small talk?
What made them work? What was missing?