r/thewordshit

Are just the worst.

(Warning: Serious shit shitty shit)

SHIT SHIT SHIT!! WE CAN MAKE THE SHIT!!! MOTHAFACKAS, TAKE THE SHIT TOWERRRR

The phantom shitter

Today has been a total shitshow, and it is easily my worst, most shitty experience of the entire year.

It all started when my alarm didn't go off. I woke up late, panicked, and rushed into the kitchen only to realize I had completely run out of coffee. Attempting a makeshit solution, I tried to boil water in a broken kettle, but it completely shorted out. Trying to pivot, I decided to make some eggs, but I accidentally dropped the entire carton. Every single one shattered. Just a complete crack pan disaster on my kitchen floor. I looked down at the mess, realizing my morning was turning into complete bullshit.

I gave up on breakfast, grabbed my bags, and sprinted out the door to catch my bus. As I reached the curb, the driver sped right past me, splashing a puddle of dirty rainwater all over my jeans. I just stood there soaking wet, feeling like a total shitbag standing on the sidewalk.

At this point, I am convinced today is cursed. I finally made it to the office, only to be buried under a mountain of tedious shittah paperwork from my boss. I hope your mornings are going infinitely better than this horseshit.