r/zeromatches

​I know it’s not a competition and being FA sucks no matter what you look like, but I need to vent about this because I feel like the skinny guys get completely overlooked.

​Biologically speaking, attraction is mostly about hardwired carnal desires, and girls naturally seek out men with physical mass. They want to feel smaller than their partner, they want to feel secure and protected.

Obviously, being tall and muscular is the absolute ideal. But here is the brutal truth: fat still equals mass.

​An overweight or obese guy still has physical presence. He takes up space. If push comes to shove, he has weight to throw around. If you are an underweight guy, you have zero physical presence. You look fragile. You can’t trigger that biological "protector" instinct in a woman when your wrists are literally thinner than hers. You just register as weak, and biology doesn't respect weak.

​Just look around at outside. From my own personal observations, the proof is literally everywhere. I see bigger, overweight guys with girlfriends or wives all the time. But how often do you see a genuinely frail, underweight guy holding hands with a girl? Almost never. Unless he has something extraordinarily puts him above others.

​And then there’s the societal aspect, which might be the most frustrating part. Being overweight is basically normalized now. The majority of the population is overweight thanks to the modern world. Since its not an easy problem to solve, people actively campaign against fat-shaming, and society generally agrees that making fun of an obese person is a terrible thing to do.

​That normalization never happened for underweight men. Meanwhile ​skinny-shaming a guy is still 100% socially acceptable. People will tell you to "eat a burger," call you a twink or femboy, or joke about the wind blowing you away. You get treated like a little kid instead of a grown man.

​I'm just so tired of feeling physically inadequate. Whenever I complain, people just say "eat more bro" or "just hit the gym", completely ignoring the fact that just like how being overweight can be about genetics, metabolism or health complications and not just your diet, being underweight is often the exact same. For example, I am 5'10 and 120 lbs. I was born underweight and have been this way my entire life. The gym only gave me extra veins, and "eating a lot" isn't just about the massive amount of money it costs to eat way more than an ordinary person, it's the physical torture of force-feeding yourself past the point of feeling like vomiting every single day just to see the scale move an inch.

This is just an observation I made about my experience on dating apps from this year compared to last year.

For reference, I am a 31 year old white American male with blond hair and green eyes. I stand 5'7" (I know, brutal height for a man) with an average body. I won't comment on my looks cause I don't think that's up to me, society already tells me everything I need to know.

2025: 2 dates​ (led to nothing), 5 hookups across the year, only one of which was with someone whom I wouldn't wanna be seen in public with. The others were mid-to-cute and two were at least younger than me. I got two matches with some mid-20s women that could have resulted in an LTR, but it wasn't what I was looking for.

2026: 1 meetup which led to nothing, otherwise 0 action on any of the apps. I've matched with a couple women in their 40s and 50s, but they were looking for something serious and we never met anyway.

It's not just about my results, but women's attitudes, too. Even last year, I could get phone numbers and women would entertain a conversation. This year, all my matches seem dry and distant if they're even real women. I had a trip to India planned this month (that I cancelled) and I'd been hella active on the apps looking for women in New Delhi and it was rare for me to get a match and even when I got one, the conversation was dry af. I only found one woman who seems gaga for me (when you'd expect a lot more women would give me that treatment if "JBW" was anything to go by. As far as I am concerned, things are only going to get worse from here and hypergamy is already infecting women worldwide.

What have your experiences been in this last year?