u/-CrystalWings

Sometimes, i think about quitting prayer. I've been praying since childhood none stop. No human ever forced me to do it.. it was always my own choice. But lately I've become tired of it... it started feeling forced... prayer is supposed to feel like refugee but now it feels more like a burden to me.

I actually never lost faith or doubted the existence of god, so no... No atheist in progress lol... i just don't pray from my heart anymore, i don't pray to ask for favors or help anymore... I'm only praying in autopilot mode only praying coz god commanded it.

I don't know what to do. I've tried to pray sincerely and ask for help, but nothing improved... and now it just feels pointless... the more i get closer to god, the more he gets distant from me... he doesn't listen. i feel hated and abandoned.

I mean, it's not just prayer, but everything i put effot into ends in disappointment... and when i feel alone and helpless, i try even harder until i reach a burnout from everything, including prayer.

Should i just give up and stop trying?

I'm so tired of how everyone talks about age, like people are products with expiration date... as if turning 30 means your life is over and you can't study anymore. You can't start over cant learn new skills cant change or start a career cant marry or rebuild your life..

People repeat this sh*t mindset constantly telling you to rush to settle to whatever comes in the way and adapt to fit in and save your future.... but why do we even have to adapt to something that clearly damages our mentality... it only creates pressure , anxiety, burnout, mental issues, and making wrong decisions in fear of missing out on deadlines... i don't fu*king want to live in a goddamn checklist with deadline... and i dont want to keep hearing the same sh*t over and over. This isn’t even a life, i want to live my life at a slow pace. How are we supposed to break this cycle if everyone keeps adapting and adopting this mindset and advising the new generations to do the same?

And don't let me start with how age is weaponized differently depending on gender.. and how many men casually say a woman in her 30's is too old for them, exactly the same sentence used by a pedo to say how a 16yo is too old for him... and then using fertility as an excuse to marry teenagers.

We all know that biology changes are real, but it exists for both men and women that's normal... but it's waay too exaggerated and turned into a social weapon ... we've all seen women having kids in their late 30s and late 40s, so cut the crap ! We've all seen men starting their studies and career at their 30s and 40s, even 50s, and becoming successful in life. Cut the fu*king crap. We've all seen people get married later and still have kids and build a healthy family, so why are you ignoring this reality and keep repeating the same crap.

PS : This is emotional abuse for those who don't know and still treat these comments about age as something normal