2nd time quitting is going pretty horrible
Hey y'all, I doubt y'all remember me from the first time I quit but I really wanted to try talking about this because I failed and now I'm trying again.
So basically, I quit last December because I had finally been able to schedule a breast reduction (I was well aware that it would be just a breast reduction, I was just hoping to get down to a bind-able size since I'm FTM and poor and knew I'd have no other opportunity for surgery) but when I finally broke down and explained to the doctor why I wanted the reduction, he got very upset, refused to understand my situation, and cancelled the surgery. I was so heartbroken about it I went right back to vaping and have been hooked since. I'm trying to quit a second time and it's going absolutely awful. I went to the vape shop to try to buy something nic free to wean myself off the hand-to-mouth habit since that's all I've got holding me to it, and got stuck with a shitty nic alternative instead. I figured I'd let myself have one last ride with it, but now I've dug it out of the trash (including the outside trash) multiple times. I just bought something I'm 100% positive won't have any shitty nic alternatives in it with my last bit of money, but even though I'm 23 I'm terrified my mom is gonna get a shopify notification about it (she gets notifications about my packages sometimes, I still live with her due to my disabilities) and either interrogate me or find out and freak out on me.
I just feel so stuck because I was so completely confident and ready to quit, and now everything I try is blowing up in my face.