found while scrolling, not mine. they are asking advice on covering up part of it… not even a sick ass panther would work here dawg.
(covered up their other tattoo that’s irreverent)
saw this one while scrolling reels, and ran here
maybe this one should be in awful taste but great execution
Okay so I’ve made two meals with this recipe and it’s genuinely the best thing I’ve eaten, idk if it’s just because I’m fucking starving from this elimination diet or what but my partner inhaled it too so I think this one is gonna be a staple from now on. I have some low histamine and fructose substitutions on here as well! Obviously omit anything you can’t eat, but feel free to ask me about similar spice substitutions for getting a similar flavor profile in the comments if you’re gonna remove some stuff.
I ate this with a dao enzyme pill both times :)
🌿🫚🌱🌶️ Spice recipe: -1 tbs sesame (remove/reduce for lower histamine)
-1 tsp thyme
-1/4 tsp rosemary
-1/2 tsp dry basil
-1/4 tsp whole dill seed
-1/2 tsp whole cumin
-1/4 tsp asafetida
-3 leaves dry curry leaves
-4 grains from a green cardamom pod
-1/8 tsp ground fenugreek
-1/4 tsp smoked mild guajillo chili (sub 2-3 drops of liquid smoke for low histamine)
-less than 1/8 tsp sumac (sub 1/8 tsp citric acid for no fructose)
-less than 1/16 of a tsp (2-3 pinches) ground ginger (sub black pepper? or just omit for histamines)
-5 seeds black mustard seed (sub less than 1/8 tsp yellow ground mustard for lower histamine)
Fry in 2-3 tbs olive oil or grape seed oil
-GRIND! with 1 tsp Maldon salt
(Makes like 2-3 uses, use in the same manner as a chili crisp)
Okay so this spice blend is bomb but it’s a lil too high in histamines for me so I subbed some stuff around the second time I made it. I got like a bit of fibromyalgia the first time and changed stuff the second time, ate less in general and it was good. Let me know if you have a d feedback or suggestions about the recipe or if I’m wrong about something (I’m just looking stuff up as I go and weighing things out so 🥲 please help if I got something wrong). I had recipe 2 about and hour ago and feel okay. Buuut I had a 1/3 of recipe 1 about 8 hours ago, had to take a salt bath for the GI distress and then napped, woke up to a good poop about three hours ago so that was top notch so I low key ate it again.
🍅🥚🌱 Recipe 1: (medium fructose, do a smaller and more tart variety of tomato and/or smaller serving) vegan shakshuka (makes 3-4 servings)
Fry 3-4 fodmap servings of hard tofu with sprinkle of asafetida (I like to get mine brown and crispy! Set aside)
Fry one medium sized tomato with salt until jammy. Add in 2 tsp of flavor blend oil (Maybe an infused truffle oil too here but I haven’t fucked with polyols yet but I would if I could, I thought about it, I only have a salt with the truffle powder in it so no infusions I wanna try yet. Idk any recommendations here?)
1/2 cup each of fresh mint and fresh basil chopped up fine.
Add tofu and herbs into the tomato, add little lemon juice and water, let it simmer.
Eat with white corn tortillas or with a spoon :)
🫒🧀🥒 recipe 2: herbaceous veggie hash idk
Sear 6 castrelvano olives (halved) Sear 1/3 bell pepper (diced) Sear 1/3 zucchini (peeled, quartered and diced) Sear 1/2 small Campari tomato (medium fructose ugh) Sear 1/2 cup spinach Crumble small block of high quality Parmesan (1.5in by 1in by 1in naturally lactose free) 1/2 tsp flavor blend in oil
Bruhhh the fried olives omg, I literally drank a bit of the olive brine while making this one (also I only fried 5, I ate the sixth st8 up hehehe). I feel good except for the burps but I think that’s kinda par for the course of eating anything rn. :\
🧃🍓 Drink recipe for a good 💩 and vibe. I didn’t just poop, I took a radical shit yeuhhhhh:
3 oz Cane sugar lemonade
3 oz pineapple juice
Muddle 8-10 mint leaves
Muddle 1 medium size strawberry
1.5 tsp organic pure acacia gum (do not use gum arabica, it’s got fillers and not always pure acacia!)
1/2 scoop recess berry gradient electrolyte powder (This has beet powder as the last ingredient in it! But 1 scoop is 5.6gs while beets are below 20gs on Monash soooo thoughts?)
optional: 10 strands saffron
200mg L theanine
500-750mg gaba
Edit: reformatted the list
EDITED PT2: removed silken tofu and changed it to fodmap size tofu serving after comments taught me otherwise, will be making again with regular tofu soon since it was so yummy the first time (fucked me up a bit tho, 100% silken ugh)
same artist that did the instagram one I posted a while back, ahahahah I kinda love it.
when he know exactly who tf he is 🤡
Recipe/Vent/Medical outlook, I’m just putting this down as no category 🤷🏽♀️
I had to portion out two tablespoons so I don’t go over fodmap sizes but omg this salsa was literally $8 at Sprouts. Worth it, I’m gonna have breakfast tacos for dinner: egg, tillamook white cheddar, white corn and rice flour tortillas and a couple spoons of fody salsa. I’m so happy.
I also grabbed some miracle noodle fettuccini so tomorrow is gonna be basil, rosemary, thyme, parsley and oregano with egg yolk, a whole thing of shaved parm, lil corn starch and organic valley milk (also salt n pepper). I may or may not test out a truffle infused oil (polyols) but she’s also having fettuccine Alfredo tomorrow night!! :)
I had my free 15 min consult with my Monash nutritionist this afternoon, thank god my referral went thru over the weekend, fuck my hmo. but she’s literally squeezing me in across two days before her first clients on wednesday and thursday to get me all her intake this week so she can get a plan of action and nutrition for me asap. Based on my weight/rapid decline she’s like worried about even keeping me on a restrictive diet but if I’m not the symptoms are too much
I went from 110ish to 86 since I moved into this mold hellhole. She’s like taking this seriously like if I don’t eat fodmap and low histamine I’m having axial tonic seizures and losing ur from both ends. So I need to be able to eat something substantial but if I eat too much, it hurts. Last night I had tried to have half a block with basil and sage and a hash brown and some spinach, I got like four pieces in before I felt like I’m-full-pain so gadtroperies is on the list of things to evaluate when I get scoped later this month.
Anyways thank god for fody salsa 🫶🏽
Ugh so this one has fructose, I got this one in ther afternoon and then just ended up having a few of the blueberry ones I posted last night. I’m still learning about fructose vs fructans.
Is 1.4g too much to try to fuck with? I think I’m going to get fructaid tomorrow and see how I do with it if that’s not considered “excess.” I’m not drinking this one til I get yalls advice tho.
Fuck with it or get fucked up with it?
I’m new as fuck to fodmaps, like my monash nutritionist appointment is next week. But I spent a few days in the hospital after mold exposure wrecked me about three weeks ago.
Now I can eat like 7 things that I’ve found so far (potato, egg, tofu, pineapple juice, spinach, bell pepper, basil).
Anyways I’m fucking miserable, my volcano oven broke so we’re waiting for a new one to be delivered. Let’s be real so real tho. I’d rather be high if imma shit myself anyways.
But like how bad does this look? :( is so yummy :(
I’m having neuromuscular autoimmune issues with fodmap/trigger foods (I think garlic and onion are for sure). I did AIP by myself a few years ago when that hit me since I’m a nutritional health coach and an Ayurvedic pharmacist. I got back to normal eating after 7ish months. But no the mold messed me up so hard it’s outta my own scope. So if it’s super bad, I’ll probs just suck it up and roll one but I’m trying to just vape.
just when you think this guy can’t do anything worse, he tattoos goddamn croc holes on someone while fucking spelunking, like actually spelunking.
HES LITERALLY IN THE WATER DOING THIS
honestly, this guy deserves to lose limbs letting this rapist do this while barefoot on the dock of a cavernous pool. there were full ass stalagmites and stalactites in the post. i’m at a loss for words. when will he be stopped?!?!???
AGHAST DAWG IM AGHAST.
Bro when I tell you I’m heart broken, my favorite shop that I even worked at almost a decade ago is on this shit. I’m legit so sad how far it’s fallen to have this listed at mid 3 figures in their case.
Also lmfao the fact we already have andara flair in this sub 😭😭😭
if all the ink falls out, it’ll look great.