u/2SigmaGirth

Throwaway as I am a little paranoid about being identified from my main account.

I started as a QT at a small-medium pod shop (India) straight after my undergrad. They were up and coming in the space at the time and had a good reputation. I had also interned at the same place and found the work environment bearable.

In the first year, I found the work enjoyable and the people around me supportive. My pod was profitable already when I joined but I didn't have direct access to the strats already running. Although the people and my manager were supportive and helpful with advice, I basically built out my strategy from scratch in an adjacent market they were eyeing for a while. I put my heart and soul into it. At the end of my first year review cycle, I was running a reasonably profitable strategy with a respectable run rate for the next year. My reviews were extremely good. I was told it was the best output anyone ever had in their first year and I had a lot of potential. This is where I fucked up, and where the good part ends.

I was not happy with my offered compensation considering my reviews were extremely good. Some peers at bigger places, who hadnt shown nearly as much output or potential as me were getting paid much more than me. Another thing I should mention is that I am not good at soft skills. I am not good at reading the room and situations. I thought it was part of the negotiation and I was getting low-balled and maybe went too far indirectly indicating why I should be working at this place. While this resulted in me getting a significant pay hike for the year, it also set off a bunch of events for the next year that I only recognise in hindsight.

For some context, sometime around the end of the first year, there were a couple of people, with significantly more experience than me hired and allocated to work with me. Now after this review meeting, I found myself slowly being managed out of my place. I did not know how to handle this situation as my manager seemed to be involved with everyone except me. I developed anxiety issues feeling very lonely and singled out in my office space, lost interest in my work as well but still stuck around because my strats were still printing, and the money would be significant at the end of the year.

But at the end of my second year, my comp was much lower than I expected (or was promised to me). And tbh by the end of the year there was nothing I was doing that my colleagues couldn't as well. So I had no leverage either. My contributions and ideas were part of the general pod knowledge. This was the last straw for me, and I am now quite depressed and have no idea what I should be doing going ahead. I also feel anxiety at the thought of working with people, my memories of my first couple years in a corporate workplace look quite toxic in hindsight and I am afraid of it happening again.

Typed all of this in such detail because I am looking more for life than career advice. Is this how all quant space is? What shook me is how it took just one wrong conversation to derail everything. I just feel like I cant start over now, and why would anyone even give me a chance. And what if its toxic again. Should I even be eyeing quant if I am looking for a balanced workplace with nice people and a manager I can trust?

I guess I was more looking for a mentor to show me how this space works while I worked hard at how to print money and coming up with ideas. Instead I found myself not being able to focus properly because I kept feeling anxious about my comp, not being able to trust my manager, and in the end my fears coming out to be true. I underestimated how important it is to be likable, and to have a good relationship with people I am working with.

Tl;dr - Had a very good first year. Argued over comp in review. Fucked up in there. Got managed out the next year. Now suffering from workplace anxiety and clueless on next step. TC - 300k usd