u/ABanana2510 — reddlx

k so.. I'll break this into sections, but long story short I just want opinions or advice, I won't fully explain everything but, I'll just give the gist of it.

Context: Med (psychiatry specifically) and clinical psych are the literal 2 only things I actually want to do in life and actually have a passion for. I'm just not sure if it's worth pursuing either of them anymore, which I'll explain next.

Academically: I just finished first year n.. well the gpa isn't looking that great. First sem I ended w a 3.78, this sem will be lower. I've only gotten 2 grades back which were an 88 in ochem n 73 in an elective 💀 so, it's really lookin bad rn. Also, I'm just not that smart. My entire academic career has always been in an intermediate spot where I can't call it bad but it's not good enough for anything at the top. There's been improvement but.. marginally. Gr11 I was sat in the mid 80s, gr12 through.. torturous studying and a genuinely borderline depressive mental, I managed to push my avg into the low 90s. I just don't think I can do that in uni, and especially not consistently do that for the next 3 years straight since I needa recover from my 73 this sem+get really good ecs+cook literal perfection on the mcat, interviews, n other stuff. I got the drive, I just don't think I have the ability or intelligence to be able to do that.

Personally: Like I mentioned at the beginning, those two things are the literal only 2 things I actually have a passion to want to do in life. But thinking about it now, it's just.. not worth that many years of my life to do. Like if by some fuckin miracle I get into med right after my undergrad, and for the hypothetical let's say residency takes 2 years, I don't get to start an actual life until i'm like.. 28-30. I'm not gonna get into why or how exactly I look at time or life (cus the typical response to ppl hearing me say that is "oh well 30 just sounds old you have time"), cus it's.. complex, and would make this post wayyy too long and complicated. Anyways, it just doesn't seem worth 10 years at minimum which is still IF I SOMEHOW get into med right after my undergrad which.. as I mentioned bfr, I highly doubt. I also have adhd so my motivation even on my current work is everywhere and nowhere at the same time, and this entire conflict as a whole just makes it sm harder to be motivated.

Clin Psych as an alternative: This path ain even much easier at all, clin psych programs are so fkin competitive atp, and I'd still needa spend at least a couple years doing research n stuff, at which point like.. it's no diff than med both in terms of my chances of getting in in the first place and in terms of the years it'd take. The only other possible paths is getting an MA to get to become a psych associate, which, again, is likely competitive and my chances are likely not high.

I just don't rlly know what to do at this point of my life cus no matter what turn I take I either get to do the thing I wanna do and then regret spending that many years in school n shit, or I do something else that wouldn't require such an extended path and then give up dreams I had. I can't count the amount of days i've sat tryna decide what would be best n just never came up with anything, neither feels more worth it than the other, and the issue is very few other degrees that aren't as extended are as highly employable, especially w AI n shit being used by companies sm more. there's just no winning anywhere I turn