I used to be very confident in my writing, but that confidence has decreased so much these last couple years, and I’m not sure why. I look at my writing and I think it’s bland. Could someone read my poem and share their honest opinions? Thank you!
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MIRAGE: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-kC7nwceu3M59H6xNYsPFGfWce1h-niVmyYZasNexVc/edit?usp=drivesdk
We never needed to take a second glance before.
Good or bad—it was always trustworthy.
Even if the food was bland, it was still edible.
Even if the eyes were evil, they still looked back at you.
Even dirty water you could run your hand through.
The next time you see water in the distance, be cautious of trusting it—
it could just be a mirage.
Those mirages were fun to drink when we knew it wasn’t real water.
Now all the water looks the same.
The mirages will forever blend in—
our enemies, supported by our own kind.
The mirages are constantly fueled,
breathing in the oxygen they do not need while we let ourselves suffocate.
We resent the mirages, but we tend to forget
that the true villains hide behind the scenes.
To them, we are useless—we must fade out.
They watch us burn in the desert while they think they are hydrated.
They let our minds vaporize, then feed them to the mirages—
failing to see that deep down, they are burning themselves just the same.
I know for sure that some of us from the desert will come out unscathed.
We will create something trustworthy again.
It will give you hope; it will hydrate you.
Our drop of water is more satiating than an ocean of lies.
With this new energy, maybe it will be easier to spot a mirage now.
They hide in plain sight, after all.
M(I)R(A)GE
I used to be very confident in my writing, but that confidence has decreased so much these last couple years, and I’m not sure why. I look at my writing and I think it’s bland. Could someone read my poem and share their honest opinions? Thank you!
——
MIRAGE: https://docs.google.com/document/d/1-kC7nwceu3M59H6xNYsPFGfWce1h-niVmyYZasNexVc/edit?usp=drivesdk