Childfree, husbandfree and not by choice, what shall we do?
Hi everyone, and this mostly goes to the ladies, men please, first leave this submission alone.
I made 28 this year and my early twenties have been littered with two long term relationships that failed. Before that, I did not date so I am basically a goody two shoes kind of girl. I barely have social hobbies though as the ones involve things like cooking, jewelry making, crotchet things of that nature. Because I was cosplaying marriage, I barely went out in uni as which marriage material girl does that and refused to indulge in sugar baby antics because munange, I am holy and all even when I was broke asf. In all this, I was supporting my first boyfriend financially, whenever I could, he was struggling and I wanted to show we could go through life and all. Mind you he was 8 years older than me, when we met he was 27 and I was 19. Better people came and were around me at that time, but he was my first love and I wanted to be different from his other people, the first person he had left him because he was broke and she had found someone better. So, no, if the men come here and start spewing form at their mouths, Sirs, sorry I did not sleep around...lol and made the mistake of not picking what would make my life easy like his ex did when I really had the opportunity to do so.
Anyways, of late I have been thinking to myself that it seems all the good men have been taken and right now chances of you getting with someone who you later find out is married are really high as some of these guys lie, or they just have an issue that you do not want to tolerate(emotional obtuseness, different faith, poor money habits things of that nature). Now, I saw a tweet where this lady said that to get married you just get one good thing about the person and settle and I have been thinking about that, I even saw comments about Sheeba's thing and the thought of being a second wife has crossed my mind, that plus having a child by myself, whereby I will not disturb the father of the child for anything but will do my best to show up as their parent because I really want to be a mom.
When it comes to friends, I am honestly just now trying to build my social circle because in the relationships I have been in, I was not good at doing this, making friends as even as an individual for the most part I liked being by myself but adulting has taught me that you always need someone in your corner and many days I get lonely to the extent that my chest hurts, being around people helps with things so whenever I can, I go out or call my friends to catch up on life and all that.
The next thing is money, the women who are married are able to navigate life more easily as you are literally living in someone's house and being fed, whether you contribute or not, you will eat and look good and just be at peace, for us who are alone, it is not like that. You have to bear the cost of everything and grow rich while at it. I am not saying we should be dependent on men but the girlies that get it, get it.
With all this happening, I tend to think about my later life, if I do not get the husband and the kids, how can I navigate life without feeling empty inside?, what will my old age look like without companionship?, are there other women who are going through this and how are you coping?, when it comes to the kids issue...are there women who have decided to have kids on their own and how did you prepare?, if there are stories we can share around this, it would be great :)
Thank you.