I don't like to be stared at
I remember every detail from that night. The chill creeping in from my window that woke me up. The tickling on the back of my neck like a cold breath. It was almost pitch black in my room save for the rays of moon light joining the cold. I turned annoyedly in my covers and let out a groan didn't I just close this window? I saw something that changed my life when I looked across my room. something that I see everywhere that I go. Something that follows me between windows, like some tumour stuck to the back of my head. Something that I've lost relationships over because they just wouldn't believe me. between the window sill and the sheer curtains were a pair of eyes. Eyes that were perfectly ovular staring unblinkingly at me while I slept. They were wide and had streaky red veins in the whites and small, black, beady pupils. Staring at me with a silent hunger. I lay frozen on my side staring back at the glowing evil eyes. Ill never forget that feeling. Like a tangle in my stomach binding me still. A helpless, profound fear that ill never forget. I'm getting sick now thinking about it. I haven't had a full night of sleep in years. I barely passed my GCSES and after that I stopped going outside. I just know that its somewhere out there watching me from some window. I know its there. My friends all stopped talking to me after secondary because apparently I'm "Too paranoid". I'm not paranoid. I know its real and its out there. Just because you cant see it, that makes me crazy? Fuck you. I don't need any of you.
I'm writing this because I need someone I need to tell someone about this before I go fucking crazy. Almost every night I feel that cold breeze on my neck and turn to meet that devilish gaze. I've tried so many times to just get away from it. I've covered up my window, but whatever I put over my window is torn away and I'm woken up anyway. I put three padlocks on it a while ago and when I woke up in the night they were strewn across my floor in pieces. I've tried to change rooms but my parents always have an issue with me sleeping on the couch. Its like they're in on it or something. I cant wait to move out. But I tried something new yesterday night. I Just didn't look. I know that's an obvious solution but you don't understand the fear of that things staring. I feel the breeze like an awful command to turn and I do every time. But when I felt the cold air on the back of my neck last night I didn't look. I fixed my gaze to the wall beside me and didn't look. Then something different happened. something that had never happened before. I heard it speak. In a whisper through gritted teeth. Brimming with anger and pain I heard it say "Look at me" Then I heard my window fly open and slam hard against its frame.