u/Acanthocephala_South

One thing that has been bothering me lately, is how misrepresented the polling on separation has been. I keep hearing spinsters and media saying 30% or 45% of the province wants to separate.

The definitely separate crowd is generously at 10% polling. In that spirit I would like to propose a list of 10 additional referendum ideas that I think 10% of Albertans would be in favour of.

1. The Ontarian Integration Test: Requiring newcomers from Ontario or Quebec to pass a mandatory "Cultural Integration Exam" including a practical two-step and a steak-grilling evaluation before receiving a driver's license.
2. The "Spite" Time Zone: Moving Alberta permanently 12 minutes ahead of the rest of Mountain Standard Time just to systematically disrupt federal flight and television schedules.
3. The Mandatory Apology Act: Requiring all visiting federal politicians to publicly apologize for the National Energy Program over the airport loudspeaker before being allowed to leave the terminal.
4. Textbook Redactions: Requiring all history books to refer to the federal government exclusively as "The Laurentian Elite Overlords."
5. The Freedom Flow Rebrand: Legally renaming the Bow to the "Sovereign Current" to assert control over internal waterways.
6. The Ralph Klein Gold Standard: Transitioning the province away from the Canadian dollar to a physical provincial currency stamped with Ralph Klein’s face. Canadian Tire money is also an acceptable alternative, but only the old paper stuff.
7. The Lake Louise Navy: Establishing an official Alberta Maritime Defense Force consisting of the West Ed submarines in Lake Louise to guard against federal parks overreach.
8. The Anthem Remix: Mandating that "O Canada" be played at hockey games, but cutting the audio entirely during any mention of "our home and native land" to protest equalization.
9. Provincial Rebranding Effort: Renaming the Province "West Saskatchewan". That's it. No explanation.
10. The Anti-Windmill Paint Mandate: A provincial law requiring all wind turbines to be painted the exact shade of the Alberta sky so that residents don't have to look at green energy infrastructure. Solar panels are to be painted over in thick black paint to represent the plight of the misrepresented tailings ponds.

I'm eager to hold a committee meeting to discuss these, where no one will listen or debate and we can just release the results before voting is finished. I think we may be able to increase our GDP by approximately infinity % by holding infinite referendums and spending infinite money with Elections AB so please feel free to contribute ideas.