Okay so me and my flatmate moved in together about 3 months ago. We went to the same uni (same course) but didn’t really know each other well. We both got jobs in the same place and so moved in together as it was cheaper than living alone. A bit of background info - I (early 20s) have previously stayed in a flat renting with other people before for about 3 years. My flatmate (also early 20s) has never moved out of her parents house before.
Long story short, I’ve started to get really bothered by how unclean my flatmate is. Most of the time she has her door shut, but a few times it’s been left open and I’ve had a quick look. Her room is an absolute mess, and I mean MESS. You cannot see the carpet due to the amount of clothes on the floor (her wardrobe is empty though) there is cardboard boxes from when she moved in still sat in the corner and she has a bottle of ketchup and various plates and bowls that have been there for days. She had a cup of coffee, undrank, that sat there for a month before it got cleaned. She comes in from doing food shops and keeps all her food in her room.
She keeps her window open 24/7 which causes a draught and because her door doesn’t shut properly, she puts her visibly dirty underwear in the hinge of the door to avoid it opening and closing constantly. Despite her window being open, her room genuinely stinks so bad, and when her door is open just a bit, it will fill the whole hallway with the smell. I also noticed the other day that there was a stain on the carpet as you go in her room which looks like a syrup or soy sauce. It’s stained the beige carpet and she’s made no effort to clean it.
The difficult thing is that I can’t simply move out because our flat is unfurnished and 99.9% of the furniture is mine. We also work in the exact same job and place so I don’t want to be unkind and start arguments because it will affect personal and work lives.
I also respect that her room is her own private space but it comes to a point. She also makes no effort to clean any other spaces. She leaves crumbs on the kitchen counter constantly, doesn’t hoover, and she leaves poo stains in the toilet and even worse - pee on the toilet seat. I’ve walked into the toilet at least 5 times to find the toilet hasn’t even been flushed. I had to tell her to stop wearing shoes in the flat because she was trailing in a lot of mud and she kept wearing her shoes in right after I had hoovered.
I honestly have no idea how to approach it. She is actually a nice person which is part of the problem - if she was horrible then I honestly think it would be easier to tell her. I’ve so far managed to tell her to take her shoes off and start recycling but I don’t want to be constantly telling her what to do. It’s also making me start to hate her because of how much it’s annoying me and I don’t want to be unkind.
There’s a lot of other little things but that’s the gist of it. Any advice would be great.