u/Accomplished-Name376

I broke up with my ex of almost 3 years around 3 months ago now because shit would get toxic asf sometimes and in the past it was due to me and my addiction getting worse over time and me becoming someone neither of us recognized. Im not saying that was an excuse but it was a explanation for my actions partially, but i got arrested for possession for a couple months and went to rehab and they stuck with me even after several “breakups” really just me getting mad while in psychosis and saying i wanted to end things between us because i didn’t know how to express emotions properly back then. I have been clean from my old main vices at least(meth, heroin, benzos and coke/crack). I cant say im completely clean because i occasionally use psychs and g when im home by myself for the night and have a vyvanse script but im in therapy and have changed a lot as a person and how i express myself. My now ex was thrilled to have me back and it seemed good for a few months and then i found out they were doing OF and sorta talking to other people not super explicitly but flirty while i was away and lied about it even when i brought it up to them and stated how i felt about it. We agreed to communicate more but that lasted about 2 weeks and they expected me to just completely forget my past and ignore cravings i was having while freshly sober and not bring it up to them. We stayed together for another 6 months because i genuinely loved them,I know not everyone will agree with my decision but i felt i couldn’t let them go and sorta owed if to them to do better for them and completely forget and forgive even though my past was brought up often and them being supportive even when i was nodding out or completely detached from reality because of psychosis. I ended things because i felt guilty about putting them through all of the shit i did to myself with the drugs which isn’t a great reason but there were other factors that i didn’t realize contributed to the decision till later. I can’t say just blame them for certain reactions and even decisions they made while i was in jail because of my past bullshit but that doesn’t make what either of us did alright. I know this isn’t a typical thing to be posted here but I’ve been part of this sub for literally years and yalls posts made me laugh in some rough times and distracted me while tweaking and super paranoid so i wanted to share this here.

Thank you all❤️ Sorry for the long post but im stim typing due to my vyvanse 😂

So ive had false positives for amphetamine on my drug test that I get from my PO and I haven’t consumed any allergy meds or anything like that i have been using cyclazodone though. Its been sent to the lab both times and i believe im good because it doesn’t have any shared metabolites and ive passed every test ive ever done through my doctor which are also weekly and up until now on the ones my PO gives me while using the same amount. They have had faulty tests in the past before showing a tamper alert in the past that was cleared by the lab so could it just be that? My PO is just starting to get suspicious but i should be good right? Any information that isnt just talking about the possible liver or kidney damage due to cyclazodone is greatly appreciated.