u/Accurate_Teacher_959

I already know the answer to this as I feed many feral to strays around my block. But this one was different so I am questioning and doubting myself. Since 2 months ago she had showed up with one of the regulars and started coming around more often the mext few days. After about a week she stayed in our backyard patio permanently and never left. On the patio we have a weather resistant cat shelter we bought just for these cats- NONE of the other cats ever use it but she started to use it every day. When i went out to the back she would come out of her little house, stretch and greet us. My family fed her multiple times a day. She was hungry and ate so much all the time; I was SURE she was pregnant but her belly never got that big. She grew more around the abdomen fs but I just figured it was bc we were feeding her good every day (when she first came she was so skinny). Anyways for 2 months she religiously stayed there in our patio only leaving for a few min but always came back from what I remember. It was orobably for potty breaks. we called her our outdoor cat. The plan was to socialize her, let her have her babies in the shelter if she was preg- and then give them to a rescue we knew that would take mama cats and litters right away. This rescue helped us in the past but they would only take friendly cats or ones in dire need. At the time she was feral and would hiss every time we tried to touch her. She would only come close for the food. Eventually she allowed pets and was very friendly. So last week I decided she might not be pregnant and so planned to bring her into the house to take her to the rescue when I had time. But this day I was working on the house, I spilled cleaning detergent onto the patio and i yelled very angrily at one of my relatives for putting it there. This made the cat run a few feet away. After something scares her she usually comes right back after a few mins or at least an hour i would see her show up again. But this time she watched us from a short distance in the lawn while I water jetted the patio with the hose. I watched her then have the zoomies against a tree and I thought ok shes having fun. She will be fine as soon as we clean up this mess she will come back. Looking back at the home camera, i saw she later calmly walked away to the side of the house while I has using the hose and she disappeared. never returned since. It has been 4 days….The camera confirms she hasnt returned since that moment which is just unsual for a cat that use to stay in a little box shelter ALL the time and for all her meals. I worry, what is she eating if shes not here? Did she get trapped somewhere or did someone else take her? Perhaps she went and had her babies somewhere else since she didnt find my backyard safe anymore? Maybe she had a small belly bc it was a small litter? Or…Did something else happen to her? I just want to SEE her one last time to know shes okay…and MAYBE get the chance to grab and rescue her. But rlly i dont even care if she comes back to my yard ever again- I just want to know shes alive and okay. I have walked thru the neighborhood searching and calling out. During day and night. I have driven around the streets looking for anything remotely furry to her color. Nothing. I also know Ive never seen her go into the streets but then again she was a feral all along. The other thing is she was obv unspayed there is the possibility she went to find a male cat to breed? But she was not yowling or seemed to be in heat before she disappeared… we had jst recently TNR some of the male cats in the area so it was possible she knew she couldnt breed with them anymore and roamed elsewhere? I just hope she comes back… do u guys have any stories of female feral cats making your property their home for awhile then randomly disappearing…. And coming back after leaving for many days?

Im just super heart broken. I have had male feral cats disappear for weeks and then show up again. But never a small female such as this one who seems barely an adult cat.