u/Acrobatic_Win8473

Whatever I did no matter, in how many different ways I tried to tell you or show you that I cared it was never enough

I'm never enough

Won't ever be enough for you

How many tears have I cried ?

I stopped counting,

How many years has it been?

I lost track.

You're cruel words, empty promises still haunt me

I still cry, I still care, and I still haven't fully moved on...

Today I found myself calling him you're name.

I tried to replace you but that didnt work.

I cried about you in front of him..

I don't let anyone touch me or kiss me or hug me romantically I won't let anyone get close again I refuse !!!! They will just end up hurting me again like they always do .... I wish I was enough for you I wish we could have learned to communicate better or if not ended on good terms ..

This no contact is cruel it's draining the life out of me.

I know it's for my better though .

I wish I could breakdown but there's too many eyes, I love you. I always loved you and always will even though you probably despise me ...

My heart and mind long for you, I shouldn't though.

I know you're no good for me.

I've accepted that you never loved me, love is patient and slow to anger love is gentle not chaos..

Nevertheless, you seem to creep into my heart and call it a soul tie at this point...

My mind is telling me one thing but my soul says another, I know we must stay apart!

I'm not safe with you!

You give me the heebie jeebies !!

But also the butterflies... Make that make sense ?!?!

I tell myself this shall pass... Time will heal me and keeping my sanity matters more to me then revisiting old chapters...

Nevertheless it still hurts.

The void I been feeling is exhausting, I hadn't realized that it's been almost a year since we parted ways.

The flashbacks are intense

We had our very lows and our very highs.

I see you in different people. In music. In visions, dreams, or in instances ; nightmares.

I can't feel anything , I wish I had the privacy to heal but I don't have the luxury for that at the moment..

Life doesn't slow down, not for one second.

Battling mental health isn't helping either .. I want to be fixed so badly.