My manager is extremely hard to be around - should I quit?
About 3 years ago I started to work in a small team, shortly after my current manager took over that role. In my team we are about the same age as our manager (1,2 years difference). In the beginning she was a little awkward but generally professional and friendly, and she often talked to us due to working in the open space.
Now she is so unbearable, that I'm seriously thinking about quitting my job. I'm just not sure if I'm overreacting.
To start with, she is very loud and as she framed it once during a meeting, she likes to "lower herself to our level" because of our age to talk with us as a friend. She also many times mentioned that she never had any close friends and has no social connections besides her husband.
And god it shows.
She is extremely rude and vulgar, often talking to us about other managers and coworkers using slurs, snitching to upper management about any minor inconvenience with others. She announced herself anti-feminist and many times insulted someone because of their nationality. One time I mentioned that one of my friends is an immigrant to gently let her know that I'm not comfortable with that topic, but it didn't stop her.
She often talks about her private life and arguments with her husband, which is just uncomfortable. She also is very tone deaf when it comes to money, receiving calls from her husband or family at her desk, mentioning large amounts of money without any reason. When we are trying to be friendly with her and complementing something that she showed us, she often mentions the brand or the price, even when nobody asked.
Few times she crossed the line and tried to "tease with us" by just calling us slurs. I think she received some feedback after that because she stopped.
I can't imagine having a talk about that with her because she is very sensitive about her authority in the company. She had problems with me "compromising her authority" in the past due to coworkers reaching me asking for help. One time we had a meeting with someone from other project and she presented a solution that was technically impossible. I suggested that it might not work and maybe we should try something else. Later she was furious that I questioned her authority in front of someone, and I know that wasn't a right move but she acted like she wanted to fire me on the spot.
I won't talk about her with someone higher because she has a very strong personality and surely can protect herself. This would just cause me more trouble, and I'm already exhausted by this situation. Also, now I have only one coworker who would back me up because others left or were moved to different department. My job is great, comes with good money and offers a lot of opportunities, but sitting with my manager everyday just drains the life out of me.