u/Adorable_Power_24

I'm 31 years old and male, and I've been at my company for 7 years. I'm paid well, and I genuinely love the place and the people I work with, and honestly, I thought I'd probably spend most of my career here. Until they passed me over for a promotion, and that changed something in me.

My direct manager told us about 6 weeks ago that he'd be moving to a higher position in another branch within the group. We were all happy for him, of course, but I also felt like this was finally my chance. I understand this job very well, I have a good relationship with everyone in the office, and I bring in the highest client revenue by a large margin. Also, the 4 managers before him had all come from my exact same position, so it didn't seem like a strange or far-fetched request. I sent an email to my manager and HR saying I wanted my name to be considered, and HR replied that they had noted my interest.

About 10 days later, we were all called into a meeting room and they introduced us to the new manager. A woman I'd never met before, who had never worked at our company before, or even worked in our field. They told us she would bring a fresh perspective and challenge the old way of working. After the meeting, I spoke to my manager, and he simply told me that no one had even asked him who should take his place. He told me that sometimes the partners just choose anyone they have connections with.

That was the moment I understood that I probably wasn't going to advance in this place. I'm useful in my current position because I bring them a lot of money, and if they moved me up, that would create a problem for them. So I spoke to a recruiter and got another offer within 9 days. The salary is a bit lower, and it's still not management, but strangely, I already feel relieved.

Now everyone is acting like I'm the bad guy. My old manager says I'm making his final period awkward because I'm refusing to accept the counteroffers they keep throwing at me. And the new manager, who hasn't even really started yet, has called me several times saying I'm making her fail before she even gets in the door. And my partner thinks this is about the new manager being a woman, not about respect. They didn't even talk to me about the role at all, FFS.

Edit: I'm actively looking for a new job now, as I don't think I'd ever want to go back to my old position. Seven years is a long time, so it's definitely strange starting over and having to think about interviews again.

A friend actually sent me this post with some interview questions worth practicing, and I've been going through them while getting ready for interviews. Figured I'd share it in case anyone else is in the same boat.