u/Advanced_Abalone8530

Update: Thanks, all! I’m not going to say or do anything (no invite for the ex, no heads up text, etc.). I just didn’t know if there was some weird etiquette rule or wedding faux pas (weddings are so fucking weird to begin with with all of the rules and etiquette). Why are weddings so complicated and filled with unnecessary drama? 🤡

Original: I’m the bride. Someone in our wedding party went through a breakup several months ago. We sent out save the dates before the breakup, but we haven’t sent invitations yet. I’m acquaintances with their ex, but it’ll be really awkward if the ex attends the wedding because the person in the wedding party is bringing a date. How should I handle this since invitations haven’t gone out yet and the ex and I still talk occasionally? The ex and I haven’t discussed anything about that wedding since the breakup.

It was not an amicable breakup, and we’re trying to stay neutral since we don’t know the full story from either side. But in the case of the wedding… The wedding party member wins and we don’t want the day to be awkward. 😬

Thank you!

Hi! I’m looking for Curology dupes.

I’m a 33F, and my skin is SO WEIRD! I think I’ve FINALLY started to figure out what my skin likes, and I’m hoping the skincare detectives of Reddit can please help me identify patterns and find some less expensive dupes.

\*\*About my skin:\*\* fair, normal-to-combination, diagnosed seborrheic dermatitis, eczema (atopic dermatitis), acne vulgaris (currently well controlled), and scalp pruritus. I flush easily from heat, exercise, hot showers, stress, etc. I also suspect I may have mild rosacea or vascular redness, but I haven’t been diagnosed.

My skin is pretty reactive. Some products marketed for sensitive skin still burn, sting, or make me red. My esthetician has specifically told me not to over-exfoliate or do peels at home and has recommended ingredients like azelaic acid, glycolic acid, lactic acid, and mandelic acid.

\*\*My current Curology routine has been working surprisingly well:\*\*

\*\*AM:\*\*
Azelaic Acid 5%, Niacinamide 4%, Dexpanthenol 1%
Curology Gel Moisturizer

\*\*PM:\*\*
Curology Gentle Cleanser
Tretinoin 0.005%, Azelaic Acid 5%, Dexpanthenol 1%
Curology Gel Moisturizer

\*\*Other products I’ve used that my skin seems to genuinely like:\*\*
COSRX Snail 96 Essence
First Aid Beauty Ultra Gentle Cream-to-Foam Cleanser
SkinMedica Lumivive Day Damage Defense Serum
SkinMedica Lumivive Night Revitalize Repair Complex

\*\*For sunscreen, I consistently do well with:\*\*
Supergoop! PLAY 100% Mineral Stick SPF 50
La Roche-Posay Anthelios Tinted Mineral SPF 40 (tinted version)
Neither causes burning, stinging, flushing, or irritation.

\*\*Products that haven’t gone so well:\*\*
Trader Joe’s Ultra Hydrating Gel Moisturizer (stung immediately)
Garnier Water Rose Micellar Water (noticeable redness afterward)
Some Belif products
Some Aveda skincare products
CeraVe Moisturizing Cream (sometimes causes mild burning/redness)
Kopari Marine Clean Purifying Gel Cleanser was okay, but not great. It didn’t irritate me, but my skin felt a little tight and dehydrated a few hours later compared to Curology or First Aid Beauty.

\*\*A few patterns I’ve noticed:\*\*
Even gently rubbing my face with a towel when I’m sweaty can irritate it.

Hot showers and exercise make me flush easily.

My skin seems to like azelaic acid, niacinamide, panthenol, snail mucin, lightweight hydration, mineral sunscreens, gentle cleansers, silicone-heavy formulas, and antioxidant serums.

My skin seems less happy with rose products, heavily fragranced products, botanical-heavy formulas, products that leave a squeaky-clean feeling, and possibly some heavier creams.

My goal is to replicate my Curology routine for less money through a regular dermatologist/pharmacy. I have excellent insurance coverage and already have a prescription for tretinoin.

\*\*I’m looking for:\*\*

1. A cleanser similar to Curology Gentle Cleanser
2. A moisturizer similar to Curology Gel Moisturizer
3. Prescription or OTC alternatives to my Curology formulas
4. Any ingredient patterns you notice from my reactions
5. Recommendations from people with eczema, seb derm, rosacea-prone skin, or generally reactive skin who have had success with similar products

\*\*Based on all of this, what ingredients, products, or formulation styles would you recommend?\*\*

\*\*And if you were trying to reverse-engineer my skin’s preferences, what do you think it loves and hates?\*\*

Thank you so much!!!

I’m a 33F, and my skin is SO WEIRD! I think I’ve FINALLY started to figure out what my skin likes, and I’m hoping the skincare detectives of Reddit can please help me identify patterns and find some less expensive dupes.

**About my skin:** fair, normal-to-combination, diagnosed seborrheic dermatitis, eczema (atopic dermatitis), acne vulgaris (currently well controlled), and scalp pruritus. I flush easily from heat, exercise, hot showers, stress, etc. I also suspect I may have mild rosacea or vascular redness, but I haven’t been diagnosed.

My skin is pretty reactive. Some products marketed for sensitive skin still burn, sting, or make me red. My esthetician has specifically told me not to over-exfoliate or do peels at home and has recommended ingredients like azelaic acid, glycolic acid, lactic acid, and mandelic acid.

**My current Curology routine has been working surprisingly well:**

**AM:**
Azelaic Acid 5%, Niacinamide 4%, Dexpanthenol 1%
Curology Gel Moisturizer

**PM:**
Curology Gentle Cleanser
Tretinoin 0.005%, Azelaic Acid 5%, Dexpanthenol 1%
Curology Gel Moisturizer

**Other products I’ve used that my skin seems to genuinely like:**
COSRX Snail 96 Essence
First Aid Beauty Ultra Gentle Cream-to-Foam Cleanser
SkinMedica Lumivive Day Damage Defense Serum
SkinMedica Lumivive Night Revitalize Repair Complex

**For sunscreen, I consistently do well with:**
Supergoop! PLAY 100% Mineral Stick SPF 50
La Roche-Posay Anthelios Tinted Mineral SPF 40 (tinted version)
Neither causes burning, stinging, flushing, or irritation.

**Products that haven’t gone so well:**
Trader Joe’s Ultra Hydrating Gel Moisturizer (stung immediately)
Garnier Water Rose Micellar Water (noticeable redness afterward)
Some Belif products
Some Aveda skincare products
CeraVe Moisturizing Cream (sometimes causes mild burning/redness)
Kopari Marine Clean Purifying Gel Cleanser was okay, but not great. It didn’t irritate me, but my skin felt a little tight and dehydrated a few hours later compared to Curology or First Aid Beauty.

**A few patterns I’ve noticed:**
Even gently rubbing my face with a towel when I’m sweaty can irritate it.

Hot showers and exercise make me flush easily.

My skin seems to like azelaic acid, niacinamide, panthenol, snail mucin, lightweight hydration, mineral sunscreens, gentle cleansers, silicone-heavy formulas, and antioxidant serums.

My skin seems less happy with rose products, heavily fragranced products, botanical-heavy formulas, products that leave a squeaky-clean feeling, and possibly some heavier creams.

My goal is to replicate my Curology routine for less money through a regular dermatologist/pharmacy. I have excellent insurance coverage and already have a prescription for tretinoin.

**I’m looking for:**

1. A cleanser similar to Curology Gentle Cleanser
2. A moisturizer similar to Curology Gel Moisturizer
3. Prescription or OTC alternatives to my Curology formulas
4. Any ingredient patterns you notice from my reactions
5. Recommendations from people with eczema, seb derm, rosacea-prone skin, or generally reactive skin who have had success with similar products

**Based on all of this, what ingredients, products, or formulation styles would you recommend?**

**And if you were trying to reverse-engineer my skin’s preferences, what do you think it loves and hates?**

Thank you so much!!!

Before becoming a TPM, my background was in project/program management, ops, process improvement, analytics, process standardization, etc. I’ve been in TPM roles for about two years now.

I switched depts and the software is similar to products I’ve supported before, but the subject matter and workflows have been a learning curve, especially because the environment is extremely meeting-heavy (avg. of 10+/day and 55/week) and reactive. There’s very little focus time to actually absorb context deeply and I’m already working 55-60 hours/week. Add ADHD to the mix too while we’re at it. 🤯 I’m already burnt out. Job-hunting would add to the fire, but also, the job market is not great right now…

A lot of my instinct has been to create structure, improve intake quality, standardize processes, consolidate sources of truth, and reduce chaos. I’m struggling to find the line between “valuable ops/process improvement” vs. “over-engineering” in a fast-moving TPM environment.

For experienced TPMs in highly ambiguous orgs:
How do you balance delivery vs. process improvement?
How do you avoid burnout from nonstop context switching?
And how do you develop deep knowledge when the environment itself is fragmented and reactive?

Thank you for helping me survive, nerds of Reddit. 🫡