I (29F, Single) want to adopt my two foster kittens, but my parents are telling me I’m going to regret it because of my disability- please read! Decision due by Tuesday
Title says it all, but please do read if you have time as this is a big life altering decision for me and I don’t have anybody to help me make it but you guys:
I’ve been fostering all different types of cats for a year without any problem, but ideally, I was going to ultimately adopt a smaller adult cat that way it would be easy for me to carry them and transport them w my eds. About six weeks ago I showed up at the shelter to get my new Foster and they gave me these two brother kittens who are the sweetest things I’ve ever met – they are bonded to me and to each other. I found out yesterday that they want me to decide about keeping them by Sunday.
My main issue is a lifting restriction of about 10 -13 pounds because of my neck, shoulder back and ankle issues. I have mild CCI, chronic migraines, a herniated disc in my back and two in my neck, facet joint Arthritis, a janky immune system and I have an ankle that probably needs an ankle reconstruction at some point. Other than that, you can say I’m healthy… Lol. I do also have a sleep disorder, but the cats don’t really affect that if anything they help with that because they help wake me up and they help my anxiety.
I am walking around and fully mobile, I live alone in a one bedroom apartment and I work full-time remote from home and I don’t have an issue with scooping their litter or anything like that right now. I’m also able to afford someone that comes in deep cleans once every three months so it doesn’t get too bad with pet hair because of the fact that I currently am working full-time. But my 70 y/o parents (who are very ableist, negative, overly practical to the point of depriving themselves of joy, and happen to also be my only caregiver/ support system and are very involved in my life at 29 because of my EDS) are telling me that I’m going to regret getting two cats.
I know there’s probably some truth in that statement and it will come with its challenges so I’m trying to be practical about the decision, but I also don’t want this to be yet another thing that I let my disability stop me from doing – it’s not the same as having kids, which I’ve already decided I will not be able to do m. I believe i am able to care for the cats and give them a good life. I can’t pass my disease down to my cats. I always wanted one cat which is why I started fostering …but two does feel like a big 20 year long commitment and I guess I’m just freaking out a bit.… but I absolutely love these cats and they have brought so much enrichment and happiness to my daily life – I’ve been fostering for a year, but I’ve connected with these two so much and I find it less stressful to have two than one because they keep each other company. At the same time I obviously know that medical bills are always going to be a huge issue for me, my family has been very financially strained in the last few years… which I think is what my parents are partially stressed about because I will also having to pay for the cost of two cats and of course two vet veterinary bills could be problematic in the future.
My main concern is not even the cost or Cleaning – my main concern is transporting them with Eds – traveling is hard enough, but how will I get them either to a boarder or to the vet if they end up being big without causing a pain flare? Like if I have to lift 2 15 pound cats into a carrier and then lift the carrier into the car… They could be anywhere from 10 to 15 pounds. They’re about 4 to 5 pounds right now, but I have no idea how big they will get. So if any cat owners on here have any advice on that end, please let me know because I think if I could figure that piece out, I’d feel a lot better about it. It would be nice if my parents would just offer to help when I do have to travel or take them to the vet since they’re already so involved in my life and live 10 minutes away, but they don’t want the extra work. And they are also older so I don’t want to depend on them. Unfortunately, I do not have a partner, and I don’t know when that will change. I also don’t have any siblings which again is why my parents are my only support system. So, I would be depending on either my parents or strangers or friends to help me care for them or help me get them to the vet if I wasn’t able to figure out a way to do it myself. I’ve considered a pet stroller, but I just don’t know what the reality will be like once they get big and I know that this group is the only group that would understand why this is such a big deal.
TLDR; I love these cats, if I did not have EDS, I would want to keep them, I am 70-90% sure I can keep them and figure it out, but my controlling parents and my own self-doubt is making me question whether it is a bad idea to adopt two cats as a single person with EDS.