u/AdventurousRoad86

Now that I’m on the fourth floor, I’ve realised we probably regret more of what we didn’t do than what we did.

The opportunities you fumbled because you were scared, shy, overthinking, or worried about rejection seem to haunt you more than the things you actually did and got hurt from.

You recover from most bad experiences. But those moments when you could have taken a chance and didn’t? Years later, you still wonder, “What if?”

Reflect as you count your years!😀

I have been fortunate to be a chairperson of two HOAs...one for the estate I live in here in Kenya and another in the States.

What I can say is that Kenyans, rich or poor, do not have a sense of community, committing to something for the betterment of all and for the future.

You will find a resident who is really well off and would be the biggest troublemaker...doesn't pay, threatens security, doesn't follow basic rules including ⛔, and frustrates anything meant for the betterment of the estate.

All societies have these ones. You will always find such people everywhere. But when more than 40% are non-compliant, then it says more about the society than the individuals.

There is a serious problem with our sense of community. People only want to participate when there is an immediate personal benefit. Natoa pesa but muanze na mimi...without blinking an eye..The idea of contributing towards something because it will make the entire community better, including for people who will come after us, is still very weak.

Some are well exposed, travelled but it's me me me. It's frustrating.

When Ruto's regime came in, they started prosecuting police officers for taking thugs to Sayuni and the banks of River Yala. Because in practice in Kenya nowadays thieves have more rights than victims, the police backed off. Over time, I think they simply stopped caring.

*These thugs do not care about you.*

On the other hand, the regime came with bad characters in both government and the opposition. Basically, we have elevated thugs to positions of leadership. Matiang'i warned us before they left government.

Now we have militias in our cities that people call goons. Those are not goons...they are militias with leaders who access our national budget, directly or indirectly.

Maandamano made things worse. Things happened, and there was no accountability. So what we are experiencing is a downward spiral, and it will only get worse.

Now everyone has the audacity to shoot anyone on camera. The judiciary has made it worse..with money, almost every offence is bailable.

The form of "democracy" we have in this country is evil.

Woe unto us.

Do not take years trying to seduce a girl. If she's interested, you'll know soon enough...max 3 months. If it takes many months or years, you're investing in uncertainty. Even if you get them one day you'll look back and resent them and all the time, energy, and opportunities you gave away waiting for someone who was never truly choosing you.

Learn early how to detach. Even if it means deleting their contact, unfollowing them on social media, or walking away from anything that keeps pulling you back. You know what triggers your emotions.

Detachment is a skill. The earlier you learn it, the easier it becomes to protect your peace, make better decisions, and move forward without carrying unnecessary baggage.

Have a lovely weekend.

Kenya has slums masquerading as towns, and those towns have their own slumlings.

We have one of the best geographies in the world, yet we deliberately choose to develop slums. Our leaders have narrow minds, and unfortunately so do many of our people.

Look at Wajir County. It's enormous. There is land everywhere. Yet with all the new roads being built, there is barely any space for footpaths, parking, cycling lanes, or future expansion. How do you run out of space in a county that vast?

It's diabolical. We don't think ahead. We build for today, then spend the next 50 years trying to fix problems that should never have existed in the first place.

There is a peculiar problem with us black Africans. We don't have a single country we can confidently point to and say, "This is how governance should be done."

I don't buy the argument that colonialism or neocolonialism is the only thing holding us back. Yes, colonialism did enormous damage, but we are not the only people in history who were colonised, occupied, or enslaved. Almost every region of the world has gone through some form of that.

At some point, we have to stop outsourcing all the blame and look in the mirror.

Our biggest problem is honesty. We have normalised corruption, lying, tribalism, and rewarding loyalty over competence. We steal from ourselves, then blame outsiders. You can't build functioning institutions when dishonesty is part of everyday life.

Until we create a culture where integrity is valued and corruption is genuinely unacceptable, we'll keep going in circles, regardless of who is in power or how much aid we receive.

I was in CBD today. I rarely go there because it's just too chaotic. Every time I'm there, it reminds me we're in a proper third-world country... if not a fourth. The middle income story is neither here nor there.

I honestly think the quality of life in Nairobi CBD is worse than places like Mogadishu or Ouagadougou. I have been to both. Kampala is much better... it's improving, Nairobi is sinking. The air quality is terrible. I can only imagine the number of lung cancer cases we'll have in the future. Those attendants in the small shops are inhaling some nasty stuff for 10–16 hours every single day.

Crossing the roads is a rollercoaster...you never know what's coming next...wrong turns, matatus, goons, thieves, touts, hawkers, parking boys, bodas, over populated. It's exhausting.

Matatus should never have been allowed in towns. That Kenyatta's 1 decision was dumb. We've normalized chaos, pollution, noise, and congestion to the point where people think it's just how cities are supposed to function.

Am I the only one who feels this way?

My issue with the Wantam brigade is that it feels more anti-Ruto than pro-solution. Fourteen months to the election, I still do not know what they stand for on debt, taxes, water, energy, agriculture, roads, education, trade, international relations, or jobs.

Democracy is not just removing someone from power. It is giving citizens a clear alternative. I want to hear the policy offer... what exactly will change, how it will be financed, and how Kenya will leapfrog instead of simply maintaining the status quo under new faces.

I actually think Kenyans are aggressive, resilient, and relatively well educated. Even with the country averaging a D+ in exams, we still produce hardworking and adaptable people who can survive almost anywhere in the world.

The missing link is government and county leadership. Kenyans hustle hard, but many have been pushed into low-income survival hustles with very little upward mobility. Streets and estates are full of activity, everyone is busy, yet many are pocketing peanuts at the end of the day.

The government should be intentional about formalising the economy and creating conditions that pull people into more meaningful and productive jobs. A functioning economy should not require people to juggle three hustles just to survive.

Even in housing, the private sector is responding to state failure. Developers are building gated communities because public spaces, infrastructure, planning, and security outside the gates are poorly managed.

I sympathise with Kenyans in the diaspora. Visiting home must really expose the depth of poverty, poor planning, and systems breakdown.

No wonder remittances keep rising even at individual family level because people abroad can clearly see how difficult basic life has become for their families back at home.

Simple things that improve quality of life in functional countries, proper roads, spacious walkways, bicycle lanes, drainage, and maintenance are either missing or poorly executed here. What frustrates me most is the management culture in agencies like KURA. KURA nonsense of budget constraints etc ..they should just shove it up🐕‍🦺. I say this because even for the little budget they eat it all with some shoddy work.

In my area they repair the same 50-metre section of road almost every year, yet the actual problem is obvious.. lack of proper drainage on both sides of the road. Something that can literally be hand dug and solved permanently.

This is not astrophysics.

Matatus are a pain in the ass. They are justified to strike because of fuel hikes. But generally we need a better public-owned or PPP transport system. These matatus should gradually be retired, the sector is disorganized, chaotic, smelly, unsafe, lung-killing, and stressful.

Kenya seriously needs a modern, organized mass transit system.

We are dragging our economy and this is not sustainable!

I have hung around many Kenyans, especially when I used to have a shop at a busy stage in Nairobi...just after high school, first term ya Kibaki. I met so many people from the so-called “normal Kenyan.” Most of them had informal businesses.

That’s where I started noticing what I’d call a poverty mindset...not just lack of money, but how people explain their situation and what they believe is possible.

Men thought other men were rich because they stole from the government etc. Women had a religious angle.

Later, after I left for other things, I would often visit them. They would complain about the same things or just say that they are praying. That hope kept them alive, but you could tell they had resigned to fate, as they don’t know any better. Their hope is that their kids will be better.

Religious leaders, cults and politicians are milking this. It’s a shame.

(Millennial) I have two friends who used to live large...pombe, anasa, na wanawake (describes it better) especially at their peak. One would even leave his wife and kids for weeks just to go have fun at rallies, nyege nyege, and, the like.

I don’t drink. I still go out...tea, dancing, stories. Most of my money went into business. Some failed, others worked. One guy once told me, “Afadhali ungekuwa unakunywa…you have lost a lot of money”as if I was missing out. But the truth is, those lessons were important.

Now things are stable , I am okay. (I am just reflecting.)

I recently met my two friends. Both were complaining about Ruto and the state of things. One’s wife left. The other now depends on his wife...at least he built a house, after pushing him so much, but he did it late, when things were already going downhill. At his peak, he had money, he could have built an estate.

Lesson?

Life gives you chances, sometimes even after you fall. But sometimes the world moves on. Your skills may no longer be needed, or your body may not perform the same way.

For young guys... strike a balance. You may not become financially rich early, but you’re still rich if you build the right skills, discipline, character, and mindset. That’s what will eventually make you truly rich.

Cultivate that.

My dad used to do something interesting with his commercial properties. Instead of monthly rent, he’d offer tenants a deal... pay for the whole year upfront, but only the equivalent of 10 months instead of 12.

It worked really well for both sides. I was once a tenant of his property...I paid him lol...we the tenants saved money, and he’d get a lump sum that helped him..1. Pay school fees for the year 2. Do repairs and repainting 3. Clear land rates and other expenses all at once.

Fast forward to me..I tried the same idea with my landlord. I asked if I could pay 8 months’ worth to cover 12 months, and surprisingly, he agreed. This is now the third time I’ve done it.

Honestly, sometimes I even forget I pay rent 😄

Of course, it needs planning and discipline, but if you can raise the lump sum, it’s a win-win. Landlords like the security, and you get a solid discount.

Might be worth trying with your landlord!

Don’t marry a broke person. More often,a brokie will lower their standards for survival...they want a place to sleep and eat, they will say they love you, and they may actually think so.

The truth is they may never love you outside the comfort you provide...some may never be financially stable because they don't have such skills...and could be your downfall...they might create a circus out of your life.

Weigh the risk...my experience is if they can stand on their feet and survive on their own, then they can flourish with you. Otherwise, you will regret it when you realize they’ve sucked your potential.