Haar ke haarne wali. 🥀
Fucking scored 145 marks in 2024 after taking dummy classes from Aakash, 1.5 lakh fees,( my father took loan for the fees) 2 years, result zero. Never scored more than 200 marks in any of the mock tests of whole two years wasted. I had no friends at that time, but still I wasted my time overthinking and sleeping. I was so hopeless from the very start, even though being a doctor was the only thing I ever dreamed of since childhood. No plan B, no nothing. That year was the easiest of all the years till now of NEET exam history. Many students of my batch got selected that year, lucky people and hard working too. I scored 64% in 12th with compartment in chemistry subject in the same year while others who got selected scored 90 or above in 12th with selection in GMC. Then came year 2025. This year I again took coaching from RV Institute a local coaching of my city with 80,000 fees. Then I made friends and wasted my whole year being invested in that friendship a lot. I scored in 350s the whole year in mock tests and in NEET I scored 207 in 2025. Then my father, after all this told me that if I still want to continue NEET, he will get me into a Allen Institute. But I denied and took drop again for NEET 2026 from home through PW. Didn't give a single mock whole year, wasted year and did doomsscrolling. And I don't know how much I am scoring this year, but as much as I know, not more than 280-300. Fucked my devastating mathura vet. exam too Now for NEET, I've booked a series of GKC offline coaching. Gave my first mock yesterday and I am literally scoring in negatives in Physics and Chemistry both. I should just kms . Have supportive parents, privileged circumstances. My parents deserve a better child. I am a failure. Usually I don't post anything on Reddit. And today too, I am just letting it all out. I don't want any karma farm( I don't know what it is because I don't know much about Reddit culture or for sympathy) . Also when in GKC we talked about test series, my father asked if they are starting any batch for reneet students for discussion type things, or for high weighted chapters. He said they are starting a physics batch in which they will teach only high weighted topics. Today, when I went there, I asked about the room number of the re NEET classes. And the receptionist guy wasn't known to it. So he sent me in neet 2027 dropper batch. And there was this girl I asked her if they are having any classes for reneet students. And she said no Then she goes on to ask my marks i said 380 (which was a lie.) Then she said, there is no use of giving NEET if you can't score great in that easy paper. Then how are you gonna make it in advance level? And I think she was right. I can't. She said I should not give re NEET and start preparing for NEET 2027. It was her first drop, first attempt for NEET and I am a second year dropper which she didn't knew. Then when after that class got over, I went to another staff member asking about the batch. She said there is no such batch of this kind. Only doubt sessions and test series. Then she asked my marks. I told her the same scores which is 380 and she said koi fayda nhi hai aapke reneet krne ka , as you won't be able to do any progress.
I feel light after venting it all out and finally realizing and accepting my defeat and not giving hopes to myself. Still I will give reneet as I can't say no to it to my parents as it will make things worse. Everyone arnd me are in college. I am so behind A Loser.
Thank you to listen to my rant.
( took some help from gpt as my English is not straight)