u/Affectionate-Mail612

I often used to make fun of iPhones because they seemed expensive compared to Android, and it was part of mainstream to do so. Never liked iOS much (tbf I still really don't), because Android offered so much flexibility and freedom.

A lot has changed in the last few years. Google is becoming more and more restrictive with Android, making using of custom ROMs and app stores more difficult. New Pixels are actually more expensive and much slower than base iPhone, which is mind boggling.

As for laptops, build quality of most laptops on Windows was always pretty bad. My current Lenovo has failing keyboard and lid for some reason. I mean there are "premium" laptops from Samsung, but they are as expensive as MacBook and clearly behind in terms of performance.

Begrudgingly I came to conclusion that iPhone and MacBook M5 aren't actually expensive. In fact, it's amazing deal for what they offer, compared to the competitors. As I said, I'm not a fan of restrictive nature of MacOS and iOS, but i'll give it a go. I'm really a fan of Apple's hardware, this M series is so revolutionary that it made change a mind of someone who was always vocally skeptical of Apple, and my friends surely will be surprised and mock me a bit for my previous statements seeing me with iPhone.

Live and learn.

Something minor happens that day or even days before, I live my day relatively normally, doing my stuff. Evening happens, I have relatively free time. And I spend all that just to vaguely worry or wait for something. I will not let myself go to sleep.

Like today I ordered laptop via mail forwarding and there is decent chance that they will cancel the order, they asked for additional info. I provided it and wait for their decision, and it's 3 am. Or that doctor was slightly mean to me today.

I feel like I have to "process" it in such a wasteful manner, mostly being stuck in social media, and I can't turn it off. The act of withdrawal from that coping already makes me uncomfortable.

I'm trying journalling, but in the evening it's not effective for some reason. I have to live through it for some reason.