u/Afraid_Drawer_9388

Around a year ago I was prescribed buspar after a steroid shot sent me into psychosis and I got EXTREME anxiety and panic attacks. I was immediately started on 10 mg buspar 2x daily. Over time I noticed my anxiety got smaller but was still there just not all day everyday. But a negative was that I was always very irritable. Everything got on my nerves and because I don't respond well to negative emotions (I also have harm OCD and issues with emotional regulation), I wanted to see if upping it would help with that or just coming off entirely and learning how to manage anxiety through exposure instead. My doctor didn't want to go the exposure route and instead decided to up my dose to 15 mg 2x daily (which I have been on now for a month and a half).

The first week was pretty rough as I had increased anxiety and worry. I know this is normal when upping or lowering medications so I didn't focus too much on it. I did notice my irritability levels were also lower. However, around a week ago, I got suddenly irritated for two days straight at EVERY SINGLE THING. Following those two days I started to feel nothing. Now, 5 days later (5 days following the irritable days), I have noticed that I am incredibly emotionally blunted and completely spacey in the head. I feel like I can't think about things properly and while I have noticed more energy, I don't appreciate feeling nothing. I feel almost zombie like. It feels like i'm just existing and standing in the middle still while everything around me moves fast. I even called off work because I was worried I was disconnecting from myself.

Unfortunately I can not talk to my doctor anymore as my insurance won't cover that company so now I am in with a new one but I can't meet with their psychiatrist for another month and a half. I started to go back down to 10 mg 2x daily yesterday and I am worried about how this is making me feel. I don't feel anxious but I also don't feel anything at all when I feel like I should.

Did anyone else experience this? Is this normal? What advice do you have about getting through this?

About a week ago, I started to feel randomly irritated. I was annoyed with everything and everyone. That lasted two days. The next days I started to feel my emotions kind of blunting but also a bit sad at the same time. I am now feeling very off. Brain feels completely empty, anxiety is there but not severe, emotions feel distant. At times I find myself getting sudden energy to talk or do things around the house but the I fall back into this numb feelings. It is kind of scaring me and I don't know why it is happening but I was starting to worry I was going to experience my first manic episode and not know what to do. I worried to jump to conclusions just to find out that it was something different. Currently I am diagnosed with GAD, panic disorder, OCD, adhd, and MDD. I only take anxiety meds and we recently (month and a half ago) bumped it up. I can't tell if it's the medication or what. I hate that I can't talk to my Therpaist about it but it is scaring me enough to call out of work because I am overwhelmed mentally by the possibilites but at the same time, not feeling the emotion to panic about it. It's weird. Anyways, does anyone relate or has any suggestions?

Also, I did take lamictal 25 mg for a few weeks but it made me feel off so I stopped (month and a half ago as well).