u/AgeDangerous359

Computex 2026, Qualcomm stage.

They roll out the NEURA 4NE-1 (running the shiny new Dragonwing IQ10, 700 TOPS, “production-ready”) to help present the chip. Robot walks on, does the handoff, stands there looking semi-alive… then just folds. One arm goes up at the end like it’s trying to signal for help.

Cue the black-clad stagehands sprinting in with a tarp. They cover the corpse and carry it off while the presenter powers through the script like nothing happened.

Official line from Qualcomm:

“Brief communication glitch… controlled shutdown… designed safe-collapse sequence… safety systems worked as intended.”

Well, Candy has her content sorted for the next few weeks. But that statue is gonna haunt you.

Or if you're British, Happy Treason day, ungrateful colonials!

BOCA RATON - Numerous unnamed sources confirm that Davidson once held a position engaging the elderly patrons departing the struggling Floridian/Italian fusion eatery ‘Casa D’Angelo Ristorante’ in an attempt to drive more diners to the early bird grub-club special.

It’s reported he lambasted the sleepy seniors with tired sales-hole techniques, randomly peppered with baffling non sequiturs such as **“Are you not valuetained?!”** and **“Do you think Connie Nielsen takes a dump?”**, statements uttered during a brief but intense infatuation with the major motion picture ‘Gladiator’, released earlier that year.

This proved a costly miscalculation by the $600 shoe selling crap-magnate, seeing the establishment aggressively sued by Universal Pictures for PR damages. A debt Davidson is reported continuing to pay down for Casa D’Angelo via an undisclosed, guerrilla marketing ad partnership with the eatery.

Anyway, dahdoe.