PFA
Location: Pennsylvania
To sum this up as briefly as possible, my ex I was with for 10 years and I got into a huge heated argument that escalated and resulted in him being arrested and getting a simple assault charge. He did his time, is doing counseling, and got a great job since.
I willingly filed a PFA against him during the time. I didn’t put much thought into it, and was working with the local abuse network and they influenced me to get the PFA while stating I could have it withdrawn or “dropped” at any time. I agreed as this was all stressful for me and I just wanted it to all end and go away at the time.
In court, I also was sure to ask the judge if I could withdraw the PFA at any time, and he agreed.
We share an almost 3 year old toddler. He has never EVER put his hands on me before, I feel we were both equally at fault for the argument escalating, and although I do not plan to rekindle a relationship with him at this time, I am tired of this PFA making co parenting almost impossible. We are allowed to have communication “at the best interest of our shared child”, and he was allowed supervised visits by a third party. (I was asked at court if I wanted him to have supervised or unsupervised visits and again at this being so fresh, I said supervised to be safe.)
This isn’t him, he’s never been or acted this way, he has followed the order through and through. Is paying child support (willingly not a court order) for his son however we both have no 3rd parties that we can agree upon for him to spend time with our child. I feel very guilty and I put my son above all. He has never harmed our child in any way, will not even raise his voice at him. I do not want a disagreement between us (two grown adults) to destroy the relationship my son had with his Father because it was a really great one. Now almost 3 months has passed and he has only seen our son 2 times. I am not ok with this. We both have really crazy/busy work schedules and both lack friends and family to maintain these supervised visits by a third party. I do not feel unsafe around him. He was evicted from my apartment when this all occurred, so he would only legally be allowed on my property if I allowed it (hypothetically speaking if the PFA were to be dismissed) which makes me feel safe enough although I truly feel he is no threat at all. I am not condoning his behavior or actions, however I do believe as humans we all make mistakes and let our emotions get the best of us sometimes. He did that the day of his arrest, and I did that following making all these permanent decisions I wasn’t 100% okay with.
He has been doing all things plus more to pay for his actions, and he has been following the order to a T. He only discusses our child, as I do too. But I want to be somewhat of a family again while us taking a much longer break if anything. The PFA is interfering with that and I just don’t feel it’s necessary nor want it over either of our heads.
No judgement please, I am not downplaying the situation. I was shocked the police even arrested him. He was attempting to console me and it resulted in us both slightly shoving and grabbing each other. I should have never called the police but I made NO false reports. This is what I stated happened when they arrived. They still took him in, and labeled that simple assault. We both had slight red marks.
Can I have it withdrawn? (Like they stated?)
Do I need a lawyer? Not even sure where to find one?