Early 40s, Bay Area tech, around $7.5M net worth personally / ~$10M> combined with my wife, and somehow still not feeling financially secure
Curious if anyone else has dealt with this mentally.
If you told my wife and me 15 years ago where we’d end up financially, we would have thought we absolutely made it. We both worked really hard, saved aggressively for years, and got lucky in a few areas too.
But emotionally I still feel behind compared to the people around us.
A lot of our peer group in the Bay Area seems to already be in the $20M+ range from liquidity events, concentrated stock positions, startups, etc. Rationally I know comparison is stupid, but it’s hard not to absorb it when it’s constantly around you.
My situation:
- Early 40s
- Tech job currently paying around $1.5M/year total comp, but realistically only for another few years before the package/equity situation changes
- At that point I’d ideally like to slow down or work part time instead of grinding forever
- Two young kids
Balance sheet roughly:
- House worth around $2.5M with a very low fixed mortgage, about half paid off
- Around $4.5-5M investable assets
- Roughly half of that is BTC
- The rest is mostly index funds / retirement accounts / boring long-term stuff
- Kids’ 529s are in good shape already
The BTC part is probably what complicates this mentally.
I was an early believer and held through a lot of volatility. At this point I’m not planning to buy more, but I also have very little desire to fully exit it. Honestly part of me would rather ride it way down than sell too early after believing in it for so long.
The only scenario where I realistically see myself selling a meaningful amount is if it goes up another 4-5x from here, where I’d probably sell maybe half and massively derisk.
At the same time, I know having that much concentration probably contributes to why I never fully feel “safe.”
Lifestyle creep is also real. Our burn is on the high side. We’re not living insanely, but I’ve definitely gotten more comfortable buying expensive things than I used to be. Stuff like a used luxury sports cars and biz class flights where 10 years ago I would’ve thought spending money like that was insane.
What’s weird is I know logically we’re in a great position. We could probably already live a very good life forever with reasonable spending.
But emotionally it still feels fragile somehow.
For people who’ve gone through this transition from accumulation to preservation:
- Did you eventually start feeling financially secure?
- Was it more about mindset than numbers?
- Would you heavily derisk the BTC?
- Did hiring a financial advisor actually help?
- What would you do over the next 5 years if you were in this position?
Would appreciate honest thoughts from people who’ve been through something similar.