There has got to be another answer besides BE
I’m writing this because I feel like I have no options in a very chaotic, stressful, heart-breaking, and dangerous situation. It is in regards to my 3 yr old male AmStaff. His name is Ace. The last six months his behavior has gotten progressively worse, and worse
A quick backstory; I got Ace off Marketplace approximately 3 years ago. I was told by the woman who gave him to me that he was 7 months old. And that he needed a home, or he was going to have to be put down. This is the first dog I have ever owned. Though I’m 50 yrs old I’ve always wanted a dog, but circumstances didn’t make it possible til now. The woman didn’t disclose to me anything about him really, or about his reactivity. I had to find this out on my own. I was totally unprepared, and didn’t have a clue what I was getting myself into. I had never come across a reactive dog before. I didn’t even know there was such a thing.
His reactivity was never aggressive. But he sure comes across that way. It’s more extreme excitement.
About six months ago, my husband came into the house, ranting and raving about the cat getting out. He was standing right in front of me, and while ranting, he was waving his arms about. I knew right before it happened, but Ace got between us, and then went after my husband.
Not too long ago I posted about this incident. Alot of people told me then I needed to get rid of Ace. Easier said than done.
Well since then Ace has went after my husband numerous times. Sometimes when my husband startles him, like when he’s sleeping. But there was a couple times he seemed to go after my husband just because he was there.
We have been keeping him separated from my husband since the last incident.
When this has happened I grab Ace and hold him back. But the last time my husband didn’t just leave the room when i pulled him back. He grabbed him by his collar, choked him bad, and then hit him. I know my husband was angry, but that’s not okay with me.
Now my husband has been mostly residing in our back bedroom, or out in the yard doing yard work.
If Ace sees him, or even hears him, he goes absolutely crazy. And it’s all rage. He wants to get him. And I don't blame him.
I’ve been trying to find a new home for Ace, somewhere, anywhere, because I know he can’t stay with us anymore. But there’s nobody that will take a dog like Ace. I mean he’s not a bad dog. He’s never bitten anybody. And I’ve introduced him to plenty of people. It’s just my husband he has this aggression towards. I would never just pawn him off to someone and not disclose his behavior issues. Which I take responsibility for a lot of it, because I didn’t do the proper research. I don’t think I was exercising him enough. Or enough mental stimuli also.
So now I’m faced with this situation where there is no good choices. I already know people will recommend BE. And I’ve also thought about that option. But I just know I wouldn’t be able to do that to him. I love him so much, and the thought of that feels like it would destroy me right along with him. I can’t. I just can’t. It feels so wrong. Especially since he’s such a healthy, lovable dog. To me at least.
But I can’t expect my husband to live in the bedroom for ever. I wouldn’t want him to at all.
I won’t bring him to a shelter and hope for the best. Because I know that he would just be scared, and feel abandoned. And almost for sure be put down anyways. I wouldn’t do that to him.
But there has to be some other solution. I know if he just had someone with strong leadership, who could train him, he could be a great dog. I just sorely lacked in that area. I just baby him. Which did nothing to help him be a confident dog.
I know his home can’t be with me any longer. But just because of that, his life shouldn’t be over. There’s gotta be some other option. He deserves to live, just like any other creature. I don’f feel I have the right, or that it is right, to decide if he lives or dies.
Please help. I am seriously distressed, and torn about where to turn to next.