first year death anniversary of boyfriend
June 30th is almost here and I don't know how to prepare myself for it. A year ago, I lost my boyfriend to cancer. He wasn't just my boyfriend, he was my best friend, my safe place, my home. We had so many plans together and now all I have are memories.
Everyone says time makes it easier, but as this date gets closer, it feels like I'm back at the beginning. I still instinctively reach for my phone to tell him something before remembering that I can't. I still miss him in a hundred little ways every single day. The hardest part is that I can't imagine anyone else ever taking his place. People tell me I'll find someone again, but I don't want "someone else." He was the person I wanted to spend my life with.
Some days I manage to keep myself busy and get through the day. Other days, the grief just hits me out of nowhere. Right now, with June 30 approaching, it feels unbearable and a lot to handle.
Can someone help with this? How did you survive the first death anniversary of someone you loved? I honestly don't know how I'm going to get through this.