u/Amoxi

Recently I asked some artists about their experiences at other residencies. one started talking about how there are two types of residencies - one for working and one for socializing. Another person started talking about a rigorous residency where at the end collectors/rich people came to the dinner and the artists were just vying for their attention. She's not an artist herself (adjacent field) but she thought it was very transparent. I would've thought the same. But i asked him if that works for them and he said yes.

I started to wonder again about all the unwritten social rules in the art world. A lot of what is deemed popular/hot in art is muddled to me. I always assumed that the artists were just really great at socializing with the right people. I have even wondered this about gallerists and curators who I think are complete phonies who still manage to exist with some degree of credibility - is it just their relationships to the right people? how did they develop those?
I am not sure if I can eloquently convey my thoughts/questions around this, but I guess what I'm curious to learn more about from your anecdotes is how do people who eventually find success in the artworld socialize with the right people? it's hard to capture the intrigue of gallerists, curators, etc without there first being some hype to your name, being offline and mysterious works for a very few amount of people, and if everyone is vying for the same person's attention who actually gets to have it?

I guess more explicitly/succinctly asked: how do artists who eventually do capture the imagination of curators, gallerists, collectors (beyond just making solid work) behave? i'd love to hear a range of stories - from people who were kiss asses to people who just were themselves in a no holds barred way.