u/Ancient_Expert_5574

How do you know if there is something better out there?

I’m a 4/6 projector 34 years old. Splenic, split definition.

3 years ago I sold all my belongings and I moved to another country. I felt joy and was very happy and excited. 

While living there, in a new place, my life took off there and we had fun living here. But my joy went away slowly. Year after year, and now I’m depleted.

The community has given me a lot of stress, I was excited to meet people and it turned out to be a very excluding community, a lot happened and the people drained me. Now they accept me being there but long story, it’s not my community. And I don’t want to be in it or around these people. So I’m going the odd on out, the loner to them.  I distanced myself and I do my own thing. 

it’s small here. I feel I can’t escape. They also observe me, follow what i do with my life (for some reason they do want to know everything about me)

I can be alone, so it’s not a bad thing in that case. But more how it feels as a human to be treated like this and i don’t like them in my aura.

Sometimes I want to pack all my things and move and start fresh.  Leave all this behind. It has marked this place in a negative energy instead of how i felt when I lived here the first year. 

But, I bought my home here, I like my home and I love this area. But lately it is something keeping me busy. I don’t feel what I want?

I sometimes think about moving again, but That would be a big change since I live abroad.

Is it truly important for an projector to live in the home and area you want OR in the best community? What is more important? And how can I be guided to the right thing to do now?

Any projectors out here who have felt something stirring up and have any advice how to feel what I should do?

I feel like change is happening inside me, but don’t have the answers and it has been a while.

I’m a 4/6 projector and I have a bit of trouble with one aspect of my life. I have posted about this before and it keeps coming back. It makes me depressed. And I feel lonely. 

I see everyone having (groups) of friends, having fun this summer, going to places together, doing fun shit. So I’m triggered by what I see, again.

All my life it just doesn’t happen. I have had connections, here and there. But they also seem to forget me, and do the fun stuff with other groups and they forget about me. But also it almost never gets to the point of being included like I belong or friends with someone further than just superficial. 

A lot of groups also are already there, its hard to enter. But they have? They have entered at some point? I feel there a so few projectors here, i can see and feel most of them are energy types. 

I have had best friends, but not now since i moved to a new place a couple of years ago. I know a lot of people. But no friends.

It is starting to feel like I am suppose to live a lonely life without any friends. 

Is this the projector life?

besides this, I am also very tired and occupied. So i search for true connection not just anyone, and also I notice others connect so different. I feel like an alien, an alien who isnt fun and casual fun chatty and crazy enough to be fun to be around. I just want fun AND connect for real. I just don’t get that social part, i can’t do it even if I wish i could. It draines me. I’m also more selective. But it feels everyone does have this.  

Ok.. well I guess I wanted to ask projectors… especially above 30 years old. Do you have this too? 

Is this our purpose? To be alone forever?