So embarrassing
Just looking for some support. In tears and feeling horrible that I had to leave barber appointment. Hair, doctor, dentist - anywhere I have to sit and wait and can’t move gives me panic attacks and instant diarrhea.
I felt especially bad today before going. Just one of those days. Felt the panic on the way to the appointment. Then couldn’t get somewhere to park. Then felt I couldn’t hold it and didn’t want to go to the toilet in the barbers. So went to the nearest small cafe and offered to buy a bottle of water but they had no water. So embarrassing to say can I use the bathroom. Then was 10 minutes late to my small barbershop and the barber was still finishing another customer. So I had another panic attack. I pretended someone phoned me and said I had to go. I said to the barber I would still pay him I was sorry I had to go. I looked such a fool.
It was so late that the person who was after me was already there.
I feel so bad - so embarrassed, so useless. A barbershop or salon is where you go to relax.
I don’t know how I can go back. I guess I’ll have to find another place. I really need a haircut too! I feel in pieces. I don’t know whether to tell my wife or not - I don’t want to put this stuff on her or show how useless I am.