The impact
When I was leaving, I thought about all the things I have said. I wanted to say that I was sorry, That sometimes, I tend to exaggerate my impact in people's lives. In fact, most of the times. I wanted to cry and tell you to erase all the desperate things I have said when I realized that you didn't love me. It takes a beautiful smile for me to believe that I am wanted. Maybe is this eager desire to belong in someone's heart that drives me insane. I'm unaware, you see. My mother doesn't like me and my father never came back to the room where I was born. I grew up with the will to do the most unsettling tricks to belong in any friend group. I have touched the top of the sharpest knife and bleed for the simplest act of affection. My legs are shaking by the realization of this continuous behavior. Every end makes me believe I have grown a thick skin that recognizes the symptoms of my emotional promiscuity. I want to tell you that I know that this is entirely my fault. But the shame and desolation that consumes my body sits heavily on me. I hope you can forgive my lack of responsibility The walls of the world have become closer to my limits And I can no longer address the directions to which I should encounter another will to express all the feels. _Cidrate Anes