u/Anxious_Bar_269

Just two days ago I had to put down my boy. He meant everything to me, we grew up together.
He got a rapid growing skin cancer that grew into a giant tumor on his leg making it painful for him to walk. We were told that we could do either chemotherapy or put him down. We couldn’t afford chemotherapy and he was in so much pain that I had to make that hard decision to let him go.
I keep catching myself looking for him to bring him to bed or scratch him behind his ears.
My house feels so empty and quiet.
I keep thinking to myself that I could have kept him for longer, or that he would magically get better. That I did a terrible thing putting him down.
He was happy to the end.
Are there any tips you all might have that could help with grief?