10 Year Superlatives and not-so-Superlatives
Since tonight’s the whole 10^(th) anniversary game and shindig, I thought I’d compile a list of some of my favorite and not-so-favorite things from the last 10 years. You know, to stimulate some discussion that’s not about Yeboah and/or Fitz and whatnot. Interestingly, it seems like a lot of my most memorable games were from the Open Cup and Leagues Cup.
Best Game: November, 8, 2025 against Seattle. I don’t think I’ve ever come home from a game and then watched it on Apple TV. Also, Andy Thomas wins out for best villain.
Best Individual Performance: Darwin Quintero July 4, 2018 against Toronto FC. That hat trick was bonkers. Teemu Pukki’s 2023 Decision Day four goal affair only loses out because I watched that one on TV.
Best Player of the Decade: Michael Boxall and I will not be taking questions about this.
Worst Game: May 7, 2022 against FC Cincinnati. Minnesota gives up a goal at 90+3 to lose 1-0. I was so angry, I skipped the bus and stomped the 2.5 miles home after the game. Okay, the 2020 Western Conference Final was probably worse, but still.
Best Road Trip: August 4, 2023 against Columbus in Leagues Cup. I got up early, flew to Cleveland, drove an hour to pick up my uncle, drove to Columbus, met up with a college buddy for a beer, watched Dayne hug Kevin Molina on the spot, Molina miss his PK, drove my uncle back home and then drove another half hour to my hotel. I was up for about 22 straight hours for that game.
Thing I Miss the Most: Going to Bar Luchador before (and sometimes after) the games.
Thing I Miss the Least: Brent Kallman subbing in as an extra defender to close out games.
My Wife’s Worst Game: May 9, 2023 against Philadelphia Union in the Open Cup. This is the game that never ended with Philly tying it late in regulation and again at the death in overtime. We both had to work in the morning, but she toughed out 120 minutes of soccer and 13 PKs and got up at 6 am the next morning with minimal complaint.
Best Game I Almost Didn’t Go To: March 11, 2023 against New York Red Bulls. I didn’t have our tickets for the game, but after we got knocked out of a bonspiel, my wife said, “you’ll regret it if you don’t get a ticket to the game.” I can’t remember another time I wore a wool sweater and raincoat combo.
Most Expensive Game: May 11-12, 2022 against Colorado. The game was suspended due to lightning and we couldn’t leave the stadium. I was with a friend my wife calls “a bad influence.” Since we never hit the 75^(th) minute, they didn’t stop serving beer, and we were stuck on the concourse so when in Rome and all that. I couldn’t bring myself to look at my CC statement that month, I just paid the bill.
Worst Gameday Experience: I still cannot believe that we got digital ads in above the urinals before they wired the bathrooms for game audio. Did you know that they also don’t have audio or a TV in the mothers’ (wellness) room? The mom we share our season tickets with has had three seasons of “I paid a lot for these tickets, and I can’t even follow the game while I’m doing mom with a new baby stuff.”
Weirdest Gameday Experience: Those self-checkout beer kiosks where you grabbed your beer, scanned it and opened it yourself and the machine still asked if you wanted to leave a tip when you paid.
Most Disappointing Game (Customer Service Edition): September 17, 2025 against Austin in the Open Cup. Game was a real disappointment. Before the game was also quite annoying. I’d opted-in for Open Cup tickets and had to get seats on the opposite side of the stadium from my regular seats. However, once all the seats opened up for later matches, I asked if I could get moved back to my season ticket seats for the rest of the games. Instead of just saying “no” (which I expected) my season ticket rep went on to explain that I could just “sell my tickets and buy the ones I want.” I felt that was rather insulting.
Dumbest Gameday Experience: I can’t remember the date but it was against Portland at TCF Bank. Playing the Monty Python Lumberjack song to make fun of the Timbers right after the “Everyone is Welcome” PSA was certainly a choice.