u/Appropriate_Bat_5877

We have an endowment that we'll never touch, and we're not poorly off at all. That said, our priest is very aware of what everyone gives, makes comments when he thinks someone should be giving more, and just comes off as "grabby." And then we have a ceremony of collecting pledges and placing them on the altar, and a lot of pressure to be seen doing this, and I find that SO manipulative and tacky. Ick.

I'll pledge but I also want to stop attending until this is all over.

I'll try to keep this short. I have played violin, took up cello in my 50s. I am practicing A LOT, maybe pressing on the fingerboard too hard, now (in first 6 mo, just starting Suzuki Book 2) have developed some left hand second knuckle joint swelling and pain.

I've seen 2 local cello teachers. One performs in orchestras and ensembles, prioritizes going slow, getting a beautiful tone, not too much bow arm pressure (just weight) and for left hand, just hang body weight on the fretboard. I have to push him for homework, he's not a pushy teacher at all (maybe not so organized?).

Other teacher is not a performer (possible red flag). Mostly deals with kids, is pushing me ahead fast (I don't object) BUT here is the biggest red flag, when he shows me how much he pushes the bow down to play on C and G, and I see how much the hair is bending, I wonder if he plays with too much pressure and force in general I'm already iffy on him due to his focus on getting kids to compete with each other (I am not interested).

I think I'm going with teacher #1 (beautiful tone, don't press too hard).

What does this hive mind think from your experiences? Thanks!

To spare the guilty I'm going to be vague but I got very involved at my parish and boy do I ultimately regret it. The laypeople are pretty much OK, a few difficult ones and a lot of gems.

But the clergy...so much drama. SO MUCH DRAMA. So little emotional regulation. So little emotional maturity. I'm not getting paid for this... If this were a personal relationship, I'd have ended it a long time ago and walked away.

I cannot talk about this with the clergy because I know how they talk about people behind their backs and spin stories.

Maybe I don't regret it. I did some good. I would not know what I know otherwise. But you can see to much, and know too much.