u/Appropriate_Emu_5590

something to get off my chest

i (female) was born muslim but left the religion due trauma, i was groped as a minor. I came back to Islam roughly 6 years later, i suffered with depression and suicidal thoughts until a few months after I reverted. But recently i’ve strayed away from islam, i’m still praying. but the suicidal thoughts are coming back, i feel lonely, and want to get married but every time i look at my body in the mirror I think im fat and will end up being cheated on.

I’ll feel it’s better to kill myself than suffer.