Anticipatory grief: Surviving sepsis and now cancer
The last two weeks have been hell. Penny, my now 13-year-old baby had a septic abdomen after a mass in her intestines ruptured after a week of GI issues last Tuesday. We decided to do emergency surgery to save her. We’re now 8 days out from the crisis and still on tons of meds and watching her closely. She has a feeding tube and is on round the clock care. Miraculously, she’s doing well.
But Monday the pathology results came back. She has a stage 3 cancer and has just 4-9 months to live with 50% living shorter, and 50% living longer if she survives this surgery and does chemo.
I have an oncology consult to see if they would even advise we try after she recovers from this crisis. I am so torn. My husband wants us to give her a chance. On one hand, if she’s fighting (which she is!) maybe she wants to try. I feel so guilty to even consider it after what she’s been through, but any extra time, IF she has good quality of life would be a gift.
She is my whole world though. I have no idea how I’m going to live without her. She is my soul mate and what keeps me anchored here.
How do others cope? Have others treated cancer here?