Hi everyone,
I’m writing here because I’ve been feeling really down lately, and I think sharing this might help a bit.
I’m 33 years old, a Java developer with around 4 years of experience, but I’ve been unemployed since November. I’ve had several interviews, some of them went well, but for different reasons nothing worked out. In the meantime, I moved back in with my parents after many years of living on my own, and that’s been quite hard for me.
What hurts the most is that I feel “behind” compared to others. I see friends and people my age working, being consistent, disciplined, getting positive feedback… while I struggle to stay focused, to be consistent, and to handle stress.
I also have this fear that I’m one of the few Java developers in this situation. I know it’s probably not true, but when I look at LinkedIn it feels like everyone is doing great, and it makes me feel even more out of place.
I also have to admit that I lost my last job partly because of my own mistakes: I wasn’t disciplined or consistent enough. The job itself was actually a good opportunity, and this is something that still weighs heavily on me and has really affected my confidence.
I know I should focus on getting back to work, even if it’s not a perfect opportunity (maybe hybrid, maybe in-office), but the idea gives me anxiety: waking up early, living on my own again, dealing with pressure… and I’m afraid I might not handle it well and fail again.
At the same time, staying stuck like this feels even worse. I feel blocked: I don’t know whether to stay where I am, move somewhere else (like another city or even abroad), or just force myself to start again from something.
I’m not writing this just to complain, but because I genuinely feel confused and a bit lost right now. If anyone has gone through something similar or has any practical advice, I’d really appreciate hearing your experience.
Thanks to anyone who reads or replies