u/Auto_17

I've been training for 3 years almost at the gym and been cycling my whole life. I started really getting into both the gym and cycling but the needle hasn't moved in terms of muscle mass or getting rid of body fat, now I know that calories in calories out matter but I've eaten from 5.5k-1.5k calories in a attempt to see what nudges progress and although 1.5k does work for me it also reduces me to a husk, at this point I only use it to lose water weight if needed. I've tried most protocols for 3-6 months and seen where I get the most progress but non have shown me anything. I use to go to the gym 3 times a week, cycle 5 times a week and I work 5 days a week physical job well I tried this combo for 6 months- I ate well for 3 months got on top of my protein and ate no junk but didn't see that working so I moved to just full throttle eating everything but this caused me to go from 155 to 179 in 2 days so I kept it at a while then did a cut for 2 weeks and quickly went back down to 155. I felt underpowered at all times on the cut and the bulk so I decided maybe workload was the issue and lowered the only thing I could that was lifting down to 1 day and felt a little better after 2 weeks but quickly declined, again tried to eat perfectly for a few months, then tried eating everything for a few months but again went from 155 to 179 in 2 days so a few months back I dropped the water weight again to 155 at which point I was still lifting the same, cycling the same as I had on day 1. I have a strict sleep regimen so much that I've never scored under a 90 on my Apple Watch and I try to dial in as much sleep as possible, I don't need alarm clocks and wake at the same hour everyday no matter what I haven't even gotten sick in the past 3 years. the issue that makes me upset is going to the gym seeing no results day in and day out then doing my favorite thing in the whole wide world which is cycling and also seeing that my legs feel like lead day in and day out. its really demotivating to have 3 years pass and all I have to show for it is a skinny fat body that looks like I don't cycle or lift. I've been religious with the sleep and training, really the diet is what still bothers me so that's why I've experimented so much with it but to no avail. I have been really close to buying peds because I just have gotten more and more sadden over the 3 years because for the amount of effort I put in I still have not gotten results. these are the general details I've posted but there are some other stuff I've tried doing to aid in recovery but also have not worked. something else to include is I don't know if the exercise is causing the depression or if its the other way around but over the 3 years I generally have felt worse and worse mentally, I feel like not doing my favorite activities but basically just run on autopilot and do what I have to do but somewhere along the way something broke I believe.