Guilt...I Guess..
WARNING: contains topics of terminal illness resulting in death.
So I recently lost my Grandfather. He was sick it was thought to be cancer which developed quite rapidly and before we knew it he was gone. All glory and praise to God at the end of the day now he is with Jesus which is the best place to be fr.
Now what does this have to do with guilt??? Well as Christians we are called to walk and live like Christ did and he healed the sick, raised the dead and much MUCH more! There is a part of me that will forever wonder if I had just fasted more, prayed more, praised more, spent more time in Gods presence maybe I would have had the power to pray for him and he would have maybe been healed or maybe had his number of days on earth increased.
I am not saying I am this mighty powerful person that can raise the dead but it is a question that may just forever live rent free in my head a sense of guilt that will forever hang off my shoulders.
Also humans are not that powerful to change the course of Gods will because of our participation or lack there off... as in whether or not I prayed , fasted and even went to the mountains if it was his time it was just his time. But the question of what if it wasn't his time is what brings on all the feeling of guilt.
I believe a part of me doesn't know how to deal with the grief and another part of me doesn't know how to deal with the fact that I may have helped him through intercession
At the end of the day GOD IS STILL GOOD!!! and that's all that matters fr fr!!!
I guess I just needed to vent... please do share yall's opinions they would be much appreciated.