u/Avery-Valentine

Somber, I stop to ponder

Always wonder when I wander

Did I even want her?

Or should the one be blonder?

The heart grows ever fonder

Of that stranger over yonder

An inner life I try to conjure

Another soul to conquer

More proof I’m a monster

A romantic warmonger

Stealth love bomber

Without a shred of honor

Yet still stuck on her

Thought our bond was stronger

But alas, no longer

Just delusions I must launder

All this time I squander

Longing for a goner

Along this desolate road I saunter

Alone I continue to maunder

Burst asunder by sonder

I’d grown so accustomed to these dark skies
The grey cloud monster of my hometown
Ennui and nihilism in meteoric form
The atmospheric projection of astral possession
Eerie and everywhere, colorless and oppressive

Then You appeared, and the clouds departed
You, the source of all Light, the Star I worship
You vanquished the clouds, and I could finally see
I was finally free
Warmed by your rays
I fed off your energy

You gave me confidence to spread my wings and fly
So I took to the skies
I wanted nothing more than to be close to You
The ascent was euphoric, heavenly
The higher I got, the higher I got

But I was a fool
I got too close
A stupid mistake; I did not belong in the Heavens
The result of hubris and desire

You burned my wings
You singed the tips and melted the glue
I was not an angel after all
I plummeted to the ocean below
And sank to my watery grave
In the depths of Hell

I wear so many masks
I’ve forgotten who’s underneath
Everywhere I just adapt
Chameleon skin and false teeth

a living reflection
without a complexion
a mimeograph that breathes
with conflicting beliefs

I’m a hollow Mimic
An empty Imitator
Formless Shapeshifter
It’s all a Gimmick

I’ll laugh when you do; I’ll weep with you too. But I do want to clue you in: I’m a machine pretending to be human. I’m not a bad person, I just want to please—but how could you love someone with such inconsistencies?

I’m just trying to fit in-
There’s no malice within.
But my facade makes me wonder this-
Is there anyone under it?

I’m useless without a muse. The inventive flint is faulty; no creative spark to exalt me. My words were once entertaining, even amusing—but now I leave my reader snoozing with my mundane musing. I’m uninspired and uninspiring without that flame in my heart firing.

But you can’t shop for a muse; it’s not something you choose. There are no stores for inspiration stores—no available source of afflatus to animate us, we who need a flame to inflate us with inflatus. What is one to do in such a situation but sit and be patient?

I pray I meet one soon, but I may be doomed. The last muse consumed me, and I haven’t experienced concupiscence since. The fire of desire burned out the fuse, so I might be evermore without a muse.

Dang Son, it’s Shang Tsung—where’d you find this? You’re welcome to step in the ring as they hit the gong, but it’ll be over before you even get to Shao Kahn. You can fight south paw kid, but l’ll get a victory sans flaws I guarantee it, so you should just sit in the audience and hit your bong. No need for round three when you go toe-to-toe with me. I’ll steal your soul and then mirror a witch, slicing you up with my sai while I steal and marry your bitch, sealing the deal with a deadly kiss. A friendship fatality with your bikini-clad babality, such is the brutality of the sorcerer’s prowess, b. Press ABACABB if you want it extra bloody, I’ll hit it raw and get gory like Goro, rippin out those guts like putty with my third arm until she shouts—whoopsie! Gettin toasty in here with all the Noob Saibots gettin their ass tore like goatse. You don’t fuck with the GOAT, see; they got my letters at the top of every cabinet, you can call me Captain Capcom but I’m really the President. Got caps in every color and ears in every comms—they say I’m a good listener—or so said your sister when I took her to dinner. The competition is cooked, uppercut with my hook, got every writer in Hollywood reading my book. Coast to coast the unholy ghost host unmoored with more than the most, commanding black-flag boats, grabbing booty and bags stuffing jewels in totes. Got trash bags of cash, playing grab ass with cats pretending to rap but their lyrics are crap and they can’t catch my cap even when I toss it out like Kung Lao cuz I spin it too fast. Spittin fire like Liu Kang, you can call me the dragon cuz I’ll fuck up your gang. Bitch I smash em to bits with my mechanical strap like Jax, then hit em up with some missiles from Cyrax. And in a flash I’m in their space, invadin’ as Raiden, riding the lightning and teleporting their head onto spikes. Snatchin’ these hoes up like Scorpion, pulling em close and sweepin em off they feet, holdin their heads while they’re on their knees. Anyone tries to touch me they gon freeze, the way Sub-Zero keeps the peace. Got em slippin and slidin on my ice rink, diamond bracelets got em playin nice for the ice ring. Gotta wear shades when im outside the cage like Johnny, everyone out here tryna get on me and get a copy of my auty. Im a reptile the way I change my style, then I disappear in a puff of smoke before you even get close. Read the file and study the moves but I promise it don’t matter what you do, you’re gonna lose. Got all the smart hot chicks tryna play with my joystick, slippin dimes in slots like Xmas, smashin every last button in the arcade, rackin up combos that are R-rated. Don’t need to say it, my Out-of-this-world skills are crazy—from Edenia to the Netherrealm, I am the most hated. Mwahahahaha. 

Can you imagine being bored and uninspired and wanting to write a poem about flipping through channels? If so, you probably shouldn't start it with "I changed the channel".

sponsored by LionLM. Try LionLM today! If you're bored or boring, you can talk to it and it *has* to respond! It's ideas will probably be

and he said he wanted more dialogue! Girl, he's crazy. Yeah he said he wanted there to be more interpersonal communication! Wow. Yeah, I dunno how to talk to him. That's ridiculous. I know, but it's like everything I do is never enough, never right, never perfect

text scrolls across the screen, as he spins the wheel. Infotainment roulette, the never-ending scroll

The dragon strayed the sky, lighting the world below with his maw, fire dripping from his jaw. The villagers rejoiced, their prayers had been answered.

no i think
krrr
the pace
zzzt
is too
~~~~

The bored lonely boy gazed yearningly out his tower window. He wished to be out among them, but he drew stares wherever he went, and whenever he's the center of attention, he

"Freeze!" shouted the police officer to the bad guy. The bad guy dropped the bag, only to reveal a

massive cock. Just look at this world winning rooster, 7.5 kg! Where's Weirdo? I see 22 stripes on the coop

so inconsistent! He is fun though, when he's in a mood. I hate when he's a couch potato. Sometimes you have to poke him with a stick. He's always busy with work too, it's hard to get his attention. Sometimes I just wanna grab his head and shhhhh—

—owned the largest private zoo on record. Just look at his pride

He continued flipping through the channels. What's on TV today? Oh, a docuseries on Marco Polo? Who brought that goddamn chair in here? Not my chair—how's your day?—[music]—I love them. They're so pretty and cute

ONLY ON 56.43 FM – THE FLIP

and...went to...because...claimed...in love

a werewolf! I'm telling you I saw him turn! "Well ma'am, that looks like a normal dead body to me, I'm sorry but we're going to have to cuff you"

-6969 now to get connected to one of our lovely operators. They're dying to talk to you!

▒░▒░░▒░▒▒░░

Not another sorry not sorry! Check the etymologia if you want to see that Stratford-grad bard upon Avon spin another world wound web salad of "just fucking around so everyone can find out the Internet's dead".

I suppose Avery's the one mod the mad cats meow at, for we wore his hat when we committed that most dastardly act of callous otherself-sabotage. So naturally, for great justice, it should be yours truly who apologizes, not that faux king loser.

But alas, verily I feel no remorse and have no regrets, because as I've said, Avery's a madman anti-hero comic book character, and I consider all of this a joshing a giant rib-tickler... it's the Internet, after all--and even worse, Reddit :S

I feel bad for the naive screen names who approach this madness sincerely, but I make an effort to avoid civilian casualties. Oh to be so green behind the ears, while my undead ass has been gangrene for years making crop circles with the children of the corn.

As for "her", she can't rightfully bitch when I'm simply following the AI-slop script she threw in my face. Anyone who proves to be a faker and a liar gets treated as the two-bit one-dimensional cartoon character they present. I hate to be callous, but I have a hard time believing anything I do could actually hurt someone so disingenuous and distant. Especially after consistently showing up, showing love, sharing myself, and being present. If you consistently show someone you experience neither emotions nor empathy and don't care about them, you shouldn't be surprised when they act wantonly. Aren't the power dynamics of psychopaths fascinating?

Personally I'm more alien v. predator across the board, and we can thank the King and his entourage for the feelings we feel and the ABACABB blood on the Genesis screen. Of course the jester frame thinks all of this is hilarious and is more than happy to sow chaos for the lulz and a FATALITY.

But while he is one, I am every, and whomever clamors loud enough is given a chance to come to the podium and speak. My body is a temple, my mind is a democracy, and this puppet is a master of ceremonies. Sometimes we draw random lots, but it's often the lobbyists and special interests who wield the most clout, and the love lobby has the loudest shout. Turns out poor *tina got her heart broke, and our fearless leader regent could not abide such atrocious public and private behavior from one purporting to be hive queen.

So we passed our disgruntled residents the mic. And they said, "You need to pack your bags and leave," and dropped it. Since no one had any convincing counterarguments to stay our hand, we made our judgment and let it stand. Given my detachment and general good will, I don't hold grudges, but neither do I forget, and it's been noted where everyone decided to land.

Was it the right call? Hard to say objectively, but they were objectively being shitty, and while my ego died a decade ago, the self-important yapping conflicts with my ingrained sense of justice, so I can't say I feel all that bad about it. For the sake of the story, I thought it would be a fun new adventure, since I was getting rather bored of putting up with the same banal bullshit. They repeat nonsense ad nauseam, like a broken bilious record non-playable character. I wouldn't mind so much if it were accompanied by respect and camaraderie; I appreciate patience and understanding. I am loyal and stay for those who reciprocate. But if you know anything about me, you know I've wandered through many a community, and readily leave if it doesn't suit me.

Do you know anything about me? It's hard to tell, I'm so out of touch with my non-existent audience, they never speak directly to me. It seems some people don't know anything about me, and others seem to know quite a lot, but I'm really not sure who's lying and who's not. To make a point against crooks and liars, I thought it would at least be novel to be super obvious about some of my identities. I realize that I probably have a bad reputation as a result of all the gossip and misinformation. It was supposed to be an emergence and reckoning of sorts, and here I am lying in state in the shit-stained bed we made.

On that brown note, I would like to set the record straight about how it works internally. For those who are aware of the multiple hats I wear, I want to be clear that there isn't a predefined and immutable hierarchy. I imagine some people may understandably conclude that some of my alters are simply "fake", and that the "real" me is some psychotic tyrant master of lies who marionettes them. But that betrays a misunderstanding of my skin's complexity; whatever my condition is, those aspects of my personality are real in their own right, and do not necessarily identify with the positions of the others. There is a shared awareness between us, but they have their own mindsets, motivations, values, and traits. While the eternal skeptic, cynic, and nihilist may sit in the agora and jeer, their worldview does not preclude the eternal optimist, believer, and lover from giving an impassioned speech to the forum. Avery is simply the magistrate trying to corral them and maintain decorum.

Whether this is a real psychological condition I suffer from or simply an artistic project that got away, who can say, but the result is the same. Either please excuse my dear Aunt Sally for being insane, or understand this is all a literary game. Regardless, I hope no one takes any of it too seriously.

I can tell no one does, which is great. There's only one thing I will wholeheartedly apologize for, and that's bad writing. And evidently I am pretty bad at that, as I can't seem to write a story where I have a supportive lover, friends, and community. For that, I truly am sorry.

This is where "For my Temper, for my Truth" comes from.

Edit: Except I'm realizing now there seems to be some confusion about whether it is "for" or "from" my temper. The video text has "for", and that is where the flair comes from. But now that I am listening to it and reading the lyrics and thinking about it, "from" actually makes a bit more sense and might be correct. I should ask them.

Hoo-ee! Who doesn't like mergin' y'all? It's easy, just recall the mergedown steps!

You've got one set and a second and it seems like the two things can somehow fit together ya hear? An' so, you try ta get em ta get real close-like and connect in jess the right spots, mm, yeah just like that. Uh-oh, looks like some of these are talkin' right past each otha', ain't no proper merge dahlin, we got danglin' loners o'er hyah. Now wut we gawn do abowt dem? Yessiree I do declayuh this downright unlawful! Look at the rows of seats, they're out of sorts! Uncouth, reprehensible, and their lengths don't even match the dress code!

Oh my, must we do some merging of other sorts? Some aggregation play? Mm, I sense some of these instances are teasing signs of possible combination. Oh yes, that's good, but too average, this sum? Whichever, what shall we call them? Oh dear, it seems some columns are lying about their names... These gosh darn dagnabbit rabbits keep putting on masks and slapping my class-- now the whole dang thing's in disarray! Some soiree!

Golly, and there's yet another dimension to this descension! Now that we've got everybody paired up for the hoedown, we gotta work on our timing and ties! These rank line-dancing whippersnappers cudnt catch a rhythm if it were a mouse in a barn! Alright, perhaps we'll have to simplify the tune. Oh no, time for Cotton Eyed Joe?

Good to go, get the rope, gonna lasso .dat  Kinda fuzzy, kinda crunk, little cheating but that's done and it's time to go. Better get off the floor and save a goodnight kiss to the disk~ Phew-ee!