Isolation due to COVID Precautions
I recently finished 2 job interviews. Both interviewers mentioned my mask. One seemed okay after I explained why. The other mentioned that she does not want me wearing a mask while on the job. I live on a really small island. I am the only one on this island who wears a mask. And after these interviews, I just broke down. I was so afraid that my COVID precautions would be an issue, and they were. It's just so hard and lonely to be the only person masking on in my family, in my village, and on my island. I just feel so isolated from everyone. I used to look to my mom and sister for comfort, and I can't do that anymore. They both think I do too much in regard to COVID. My mom consistently tries to convince me to unmask. My sister has not said anything in particular, but I can just tell that she judges my decision. On top of that, I do not have an active social life. Admittedly, I am no social butterfly. Since I was a teen, I had accepted I was going to be alone in some capacity. I suck at making friends, and I do not mind my own company. I just thought that my solitude would be on my own terms. This is not that. I am so lonely.
I also feel sort of ungrateful for being lonely. I have online COVID-conscious friends. We meet regularly online. Yet, I still feel so alone. They all live in the US. I obviously do not lol. There’s no way we’d be able to meet in-person unless I moved. I am in my early 20s, and I feel like I am missing out on life. There are many things I am missing out on due to my precautions. And I think that these interviews just reminded me of that. I know that my health is worth this loneliness. I just wish it didn’t hurt this much.
I really need some words of encouragement