u/Backpackwoman

Hi all,

I have been scrolling through this group since I found out that I had PTC in March. I’ve read so many things and I wanted to share my experience because it could help ease someone else’s mind, since this whole thing is such a roller coaster of feelings and anxiety. First, I’m sorry that you are having to go through this. I know it sucks, and it feels like life is over, but I am here to tell you that you will be ok. I’m a 29F with a 12-month-old little girl, and that brought me even more anxiety because I want to see my baby girl grow up and hopefully have more kids too.

My co-worker noticed a lump on my neck and I went to my PCP the same day to have it checked. She ordered a bunch of labs and an ultrasound. Labs came back with elevated TSH, and I got diagnosed with Hashimoto’s. A couple days later I got my ultrasound results, which showed a suspicious nodule. After the biopsy, it came back Bethesda VI, consistent with PTC.

I completely spiraled after that. I barely slept, cried constantly, googled everything, and convinced myself of the worst possible outcomes. I think a lot of us do that in the beginning. Suddenly every ache or symptom feels terrifying. Waiting between appointments felt impossible, and even though everyone around me kept saying “thyroid cancer is the good cancer,” it didn’t feel “good” to me. Cancer is cancer, and hearing that doesn’t automatically make the fear go away.

I met with my surgeon and ended up having a total thyroidectomy with left central neck dissection yesterday. I was terrified of surgery and especially terrified of complications, anesthesia, losing my voice, calcium issues, and what life would look like afterward. But the surgery itself went much smoother than I expected. The anticipation was honestly worse than the actual experience for me. Recovery has been ok so far. My throat is a little sore, my neck feels tight, and I am feeling like I can live life again.

One thing I want to say is: stay off Google as much as possible. Reddit and support groups helped me feel less alone, but sometimes I also scared myself reading worst-case scenarios. Remember that people who are doing well are often out living their lives and not posting updates. There are so many people who go through this and end up completely okay.

I also want to say that it’s okay to grieve and be scared. Even with a “treatable” cancer, it changes you. I felt guilty sometimes because people minimized it, but this experience affected me mentally and emotionally in a huge way. If you are feeling anxious, overwhelmed, angry, numb, or exhausted — you are not alone.

Now that I’m on the other side of surgery, I can tell you that life does continue. I feel like know I can think about the future again. I know there may still be follow-ups, scans, labs, medication adjustments, maybe RAI for some people, but the intense panic I felt at the beginning is no longer controlling my life. I still don’t know if I’m getting RAI yet, but just knowing that I possibly have all the cancer out is reassuring.

If you are newly diagnosed and reading this while terrified, take it one appointment at a time. Don’t try to mentally live six months ahead. Ask questions, advocate for yourself, lean on your support system, and allow yourself to feel whatever you need to feel. You are stronger than you think, even on the days you don’t feel like it.