u/Basic-Succotash4269

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I (35M) am bisexual but not out. I've only dated women, and I haven't had much luck since my one serious relationship ended after my ex turned down my proposal (that's a story for another time).

I've occasionally found myself attracted to men and can genuinely picture building a life with one. The men I tend to admire are kind, grounded, emotionally mature, and down-to-earth.

Lately, I've pretty much given up on dating women. I haven't been able to find someone I can connect with on a deeper level, someone who's mature enough to have open conversations, exchange ideas, and grow together.

From my own dating experiences after that one serious relationship, it often feels like there's an expectation for constant grand gestures and "princess treatment," which just isn't what I'm looking for. I want a partner to do life with, someone who's independent, loyal , where we each have our own lives but know we always have each other's backs when it matters. I want a relationship that's built on mutual support, not one where I'm expected to carry the emotional or practical load all the time.

I'm not trying to bash anyone, but some aspects of the stereotypical gay dating scene: hookups, excessive partying, drama, or being overly image-focused don't appeal to me either. I know those stereotypes don't represent everyone, but they're often what I notice the most. I guess I'm pretty old-school. My ideal life is simple: work, family, holidays together, and eventually retiring somewhere quiet maybe on a farm or near the beach.

I work in the corporate world, and I've noticed that the men I meet tend to fall into two extremes: some either very outgoing and flamboyant or most will be very reserved, grounded, and mature. I'm naturally drawn to the latter, but the challenge is that it's often impossible to know whether they're into men as well.

I've tried other ways of meeting people too, but I'm genuinely terrible at reading people. I swim three or four mornings a week before work, and I usually go for a walk around the CBD during my lunch break. The problem is I just can't tell who's into men, who's single, or who's even open to being approached. Unless someone is very obvious, I have no idea how to read the situation, so I usually don't make a move.

So what do you all think? Is it still possible to meet someone who's looking for a quiet, stable life together? Someone who enjoys hosting friends for dinner, staying in for movie nights, or grabbing a late-night meal instead of partying every weekend? I'd love to hear from people who've found that kind of relationship, or who are looking for the same thing.

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I (35M) am bisexual but not out. I've only dated women, and I haven't had much luck since my one serious relationship ended after my ex turned down my proposal (that's a story for another time).

I've occasionally found myself attracted to men and can genuinely picture building a life with one. The men I tend to admire are kind, grounded, emotionally mature, and down-to-earth.

Lately, I've pretty much given up on dating women. I haven't been able to find someone I can connect with on a deeper level, someone who's mature enough to have open conversations, exchange ideas, and grow together.

From my own dating experiences after that one serious relationship, it often feels like there's an expectation for constant grand gestures and "princess treatment," which just isn't what I'm looking for. I want a partner to do life with, someone who's independent, loyal , where we each have our own lives but know we always have each other's backs when it matters. I want a relationship that's built on mutual support, not one where I'm expected to carry the emotional or practical load all the time.

I'm not trying to bash anyone, but some aspects of the stereotypical gay dating scene: hookups, excessive partying, drama, or being overly image-focused don't appeal to me either. I know those stereotypes don't represent everyone, but they're often what I notice the most. I guess I'm pretty old-school. My ideal life is simple: work, family, holidays together, and eventually retiring somewhere quiet maybe on a farm or near the beach.

I work in the corporate world, and I've noticed that the men I meet tend to fall into two extremes: some either very outgoing and flamboyant or most will be very reserved, grounded, and mature. I'm naturally drawn to the latter, but the challenge is that it's often impossible to know whether they're into men as well.

I've tried other ways of meeting people too, but I'm genuinely terrible at reading people. I swim three or four mornings a week before work, and I usually go for a walk around the CBD during my lunch break. The problem is I just can't tell who's into men, who's single, or who's even open to being approached. Unless someone is very obvious, I have no idea how to read the situation, so I usually don't make a move.

So what do you all think? Is it still possible to meet someone who's looking for a quiet, stable life together? Someone who enjoys hosting friends for dinner, staying in for movie nights, or grabbing a late-night meal instead of partying every weekend? I'd love to hear from people who've found that kind of relationship, or who are looking for the same thing.