okay, so i've linked the original post incase anyone wanted to see it for whatever reason. I took some of the criticism, asked a few friends to review it as well. I'll recite the gist of the responses in a moment. I'm just coming back to see if there's anything else that I should do here? (for reference, I have a few minutes to talk, and this is roughly about 4? ish) i have to get it in by may 1st. anyways, here are the responses I got:
person 1 + 2 (online): its real, but it's also depressing.
person 3 (friend): the flow is a little off, and it lacks humanity
person 4 (friend): it feels like you're repeating negative after negative, it seems like you're being a party pooper during a fun time
so, in conclusion, I was too depressing. my bad folks, i was watching too many prom transitions and had a bad case of fomo.
i have taken every bit into consideration, and, from there, this is what I have:
Thank you to the students, teachers, parents, and staff who made these past four years everything that they could be for all of us. Now, I know not many of us know each other, but I hope I can leave you all with something meaningful to remember when you think back to your high school graduation, especially as someone you’ve never met.
That, is actually what I’d like to talk about. We all have likely never met each other until today. We saw each other’s names in some of our webmails, maybe saw each other in our live lessons once or twice. But, not once, did we actually meet the other people making their way through high school. All those names we saw looked pointless to know, like a cast list in movie credits. Plainly insignificant. *I’ll admit, I didn’t think twice as I scanned over each name I saw, mostly ignoring it.* But, behind each name, is someone here today who got through thirteen years of school, despite the struggles, despite the hardships, despite all the odds that may have been stacked against them.
In this digital age, we don’t think twice about the insanity that is not even knowing who you’re graduating with. So, for right now, I want you all to simply look around, left and right, forward and back, and see the faces of those around you. You don’t even have to talk, just see. All those names that never had a face to go with them are here now. All those classmates who might’ve struggled or sped through their classes alongside you are here now. Every single one of those names now feels more real, don’t they?
A huge part of graduation is community and connection, and, despite us all being real people and peers, not just names or accounts online, we lack connection because we’ve never met. Our “community” is the collective experience of a non-traditional education.
In light of that, I’d like to give you all one last assignment today, and I’d hope you don't postpone it till 11:55pm tonight. I want each of you to introduce yourself to someone, maybe get someone’s Instagram or Snapchat, hell, maybe even their number. Find someone worth talking to. Ask about college or work or something other than a stiff hello and a shuffle away. I’m pretty sure no one here is going to bite you, but you can never be too sure, because..yknow…we never got to know each other, so chitchat from a distance.
Once you’ve made sure they’re not going to bite you, or, if they already did, make sure that you’re both vaccinated for rabies, make some plans. Go to the mall, to a park, to the movies. Maybe make a joint playlist, plan a concert trip. For all the things we might’ve missed out on? Make up for it. Travel to new places, eat new food, meet new people. The world is filled with 8 billion people, I’m sure there’s at least one person out there who wants to hang out with you. That hopefully won't bite you.
Building communities and connections is so important, especially in person. What better way is there to build a solid support system? And now that you have that chance in front of you, it’s up to you to take it—even if it doesn’t work out. There is no time like the present to try. Because when all is said and all is done, you can’t make a friend out of a computer screen.
*humor implication, not sad*
anything else?? also, the biting bit was my sister's idea. she was in fact hungry.
thanks in advance.