and I may be okay with that... This isn't a post to get "oh, you'll get over it" or "you just had a bad audition, the next one will be great" or any ego boosts. Its really just shouting into the void. Background: I sang my last role 7 years ago. Then, two bouts of Covid, Vertigo (cleared up 2 years ago), gall stones, then a prostate cancer diagnosis late last year at age 63. So really, no real singing in 6 years.
About 3 weeks ago our regional opera company announced auditions for additional chorus for the autumn production. I guess to try and regain some control of my life, I signed up, even though there seemed to be a raft of tenors. Well, had a friend/voice teacher evaluate me, and then a boot camp of vocalese and trying to get two old arias back in my voice.
Today, I go in and sing my two arias, and keep uncoupling my support and cover too much. Make my high notes in aria 1, miss my Bflat in aria 2. Walked out mostly embarrassed. Two hours later, I realized I really didn't feel bad about it. I had gone 6 years without being a singer, and maybe that's okay, and not who I am. Just wanted to vent to a crowd who understands. Thanks