u/BeautifulExpress8504

I newish to the game and have only been playing cecilion so far, but right now hes terrible and i have to put in so much more effort to win when playing him. What mage is good rn? I know it was zhuxin but after her nerf shes meh. So far ive been playing zetian and shes good but is another mage worth learning more?

Edit: keep in mind i play in glory lobbies so fun picks like odette is a no because everyone knows how to cancel her ult

Recently got reminded of this after getting on this subreddit. For context, i have a really good memory, i can remember some things from when i was 2, and i can remember childhood events in better detail than my parents. I used to like in syria and moved to england when i was 7.

I supposedly had a childhood friend named 'kekomargi'. It was a running joke between my parents to always mention him when around me or when talking about me because i was apparently obsessed with him, eg 'ask k' 'where is k' 'is k coming with us' 'she will grow up to marry k'. And as a child i wasnt really 'confused' since its mentioned so much that i saw it as normal, but i never knew who on earth k was, i just went along because it was such a running joke and a big part of how my parents interacted with me.

I knew that k was supposed to be my imaginary friend, but i never actually remembered him or ever remembered talking about him. But according to my parents and grandma, up until i left syria at 7, i was always talking about him and playing with him. I apparently constantly told stories about things we did together and mentioned him all the time. But i dont remember any of that. I have such a good memory, i would definately remember such a big part of my childhood, and i do remember the mention of him throughout it, i just dont remember ever actually mentioning him or even having an imaginary friend.

My parents assumed he was a character from my cartoon that i became obsessed with, but ive never watched a cartoon about a grown man. And the name is so weird. I only remember watching spongebob, tom and jerry, and a few arabic cartoons that were of animals. I tried googling the name but nothing ever came up. They also dont know where i could have got the name from.

The reason i think this imaginary friend was something else is because of strange things i remember about my childhood. I remember being compelled to do things as a child. For example, i once wrapped some sort of string around a pillow so tight and put my finger between the pillow and string and cut it, cutting a piece of my finger in the process. I was a smart child, i knew as i was doing it how it will end, but i didnt stop, it was like i was looking through somebodys eyes rather than my own body. I remember other incidents like this, where just felt like i was looking through someone elses eyes while doing something stupid, fully knowing the outcome but doing the action automatically. I also remember acting very strange sometimes, hiding things from my parents and grandma for no reason, like i was being told to. For example, if i spilt something or got hurt, i would try to hide it in a way where im getting more hurt or im making things way worse, aware that what i am doing is making things worse and that if i just tell or get help, i wouldnt even be in trouble.

I also had dreams about kekomargi, and i would sleep talk during it. I slept with my grandma at the time and she would always wake me up laughing, but i never remembered the dream. Apart from dreams about k, i never sleep talked.

I was a weird/mean child and had other strange things happen in syria, so i did chalk alot up to living in war. But i cant explain this. It bothers me how i remember nothing about such a big part of my childhood. I literally dont remember even once mentioning him when i apparently talked about him daily. Thats not something my parents and grandma would make up, and they did the same to my sister with igglepiggle from 'in the night garden' since that was her 'crush'.

It also rubs me the wrong way how my parents say i never mentioned him again after leaving syria, shouldnt it be the other way around? Like shouldnt moving to a foreign place where i dont have friends or know the language make me play with my imaginary one more? But they say ive never mentioned him or played with him at all ever since leaving the apartment. Its not like it was something i was actively watching either, so i dont understand why i stopped playing with hin completely or why i remember nothing about him.

I kinda want an explanation for why i remember nothing about him

Edit: i remembered that i was also so mean to animals as a child, which makes no sense because i love animals, and i know i loved them before, but every time i had a bird i was compelled to hurt it in the same way with that pillow incident, and i would feel so guilty and bad after it, not knowing why i did it in the first place

For context, my cat is white and grey with a somewhat unique pattern as ive only seen one cat like her on social media. Shes like my little shadow, following me around everywhere and asking me for pets. Shes overall very affectionate and vocal with me and somewhat dumb.

The other day, i was in the kitchen when i randomly started to feel a sense of dread. I felt like i was being watched and that something bad was going to happen in literally a second. I started to look around my kitchen and i spotted my cat standing on top of my laundry basket. I cant explain why but as soon as i saw her, my heart stopped and i felt the most intense fear i have ever felt in my life. She didnt look different and i dont know why i was so scared seeing her because shes snuck up on me and startled me many many times before, but something about her didnt feel right. But i started showering her with compliments like usual and walked to the draw which had her food packets, but she didnt follow me or start meowing. She just stood there looking at me. She normally leaps from where ever shes on and runs to me meowing and rubbing all over my legs, even if she didnt want food. I poured food into her bowl and still nothing. At this point im still practically shaking with fear for no reason but i started to worry about her. I walked to the living room and patted my lap to signal her to come but she literally wasnt moving, only staring at me. Now worry takes over and i dont even feel scared anymore, i start making me way to her and asking if shes okay, i reach to pat her head and she hisses at me. She didnt move or scratch, just hissed. Her body language wasnt even scared, her tail was still, her ears normal, her back wasnt arched. Now i genuinely start to fear her. My gut was screaming at me that this wasnt her. She is literally such a dumb affectionate ball, shes never hissed at me or felt threatened by me. I cant explain this but this cat looked observant. But what can i do, she looked like my cat so i wasnt going to do anything that could upset her because she hissed at me. I backed off and went back to cooking, the whole time i felt terrified and kept looking over at the laundry basket. At this point, i start to feel guilty and bad that im treating her this way when shes probably just scared or sick. I start talking to her again and complimenting her. The whole time she didnt make a sound or move. Now im genuinely worried that she hurt her head and thats why she wouldnt let me pet her. I try looking around her but she looks completely normal and fine. As i finally gave up and just took my plate to the living room to eat, she meowed. My heart sank again. It sounded like her, but wrong. I cant explain it but i just knew in that moment this wasnt her. Now im terrified, and whatever care for this cat i had vanished. I opened the front door and started screaming at it to get out, i got the mop and waved it at the cat and hit the basket with it. It wasnt phased what so ever. Literally no sign of typical cat body language reacting to fear. I think i tried that for a good 30 seconds before the cat calmly jumped from the basket and walked out the door.

As soon as the cat left the house i shut the door, locked it and just sat in my living room staring blankly. The fear was gone but i felt so bad that i just scared my cat in a moment of anger/paranoia. A few minutes go by and i hear a little thump coming from the kitchen, i look over and see my cat standing on the counter looking at me. This time i dont feel anything, i just stare at her. When she notices me looking she jumps of and runs to me, meowing and rubbing all over my legs like normal.

I try to explain things logically so i told myself it was just a stray that happened to look like my cat, but everything about it was off. No cat is that calm with strangers, and i absolutely adore cats, i cant explain the fear i felt while in its presence. Ive taken care of so many strays, including feral ones, there is no reason for me to feel that scared of a literal cat