So, I joined Allen offline coaching with dummy schooling. The batch started on 2nd April and on 10th may I have my first minor test based on JEE Mains pattern.
For context, I am a very average student in studies and scored 92% in Boards. The thing is that I am addicted or in the path of being addicted to phone and shorts. It started a month b4 my boards that I started reading manhwa/manga as well as reddit. It got so addictive that even the day b4 the day of my exam I was scrolling my phone and crammed until last minute b4 exams. I am still suffering because of phone addiction a lot.I didn't even download any apps. I use the website for everything but still it is so addictive and on top of that I use my mom's phone(I have my own phone but it is very old so I don't use it much, only use it when mom is not at home to scroll or read manhwa). I tried a lot of methods to stop this addiction but nothing works as I fall back in the loop within one or two days. And now there is a huge load of backlog piled up
As I said, I am a very average student. I struggled in maths and science (specifically chemistry) in my class 10th. I decided to do JEE because I do like maths and it fascinates me a lot. I have been told that maths is my weakest subject but still I don't want to leave it. I want to work in the space sector as I love it a lot. U can say it is my passion. I fought with my parents to let me take pcm as they think that I am very poor in maths. I don't want to leave this dream of mine in working in the space sector.
But now I feel like i don't have any interest in anything at all. The students in my batch are very smart and u can say that they are very serious about Jee and are studying everyday very diligently. During my class when the teacher gives any question they answer it by the time I take to process the question (I know it is my fault as well that I am not studying). I feel like I am drifting away from the class despite sitting in the second bench. It feels horrible.
It hurts more because my mom and elder sister are very understanding and they fought with my dad to let me take pcm and to trust in me this time. I also promised them that I will surely work hard and do good. The fact that they are themselves making so many sacrifices for me while am doing nothing hurts like hell. There was a time where maths and science used to fascinate me a lot, but now all I do is daydream while studying or scroll my phone when I encounter any tough question as it makes me uncomfortable. It feels like everyone is working so hard everyday, be it mom, dad, classmates or teachers but not me.
I think that I can do very good. I still have this much hope in myself only if I work hard. I do have potential but this comfort zone and laziness are my biggest enemies. I really want to crack this exam no matter what and work diligently in these two years.
Please someone help me and give me some advice regarding this situation 🙏
The fact that this is happening from the beginning of my preperation is very concerning