







is my cat overweight
He’s got a cunty waist from the top but looks chunky from the side, it’s hard to assess his weird ass build








He’s got a cunty waist from the top but looks chunky from the side, it’s hard to assess his weird ass build
So, this game recently received an update that was widely praised by the community and pushed the player count into four digits for the first time in a decade. I’m one of the many players that came back after not touching the game since 2013.
So what happened? New weapons? Cosmetics? Bosses? Levels? What could have caused such a sudden influx of players?
None of the above. The update's biggest change was making the forge guarantee a level-up instead of potentially wasting fire crystals. That’s great! However, they also said they adjusted the bonuses to “balance things out”.
…Balance what, exactly?
The forge isn’t some carefully tuned essential progression mechanic. It’s nothing more than a frustrating obstacle standing between players and the gear they want to try to get them to spend money on energy. Trying to be conservative with these changes is missing the point entirely.
You know what would be a great update that would bring an even bigger wave of players?
REMOVING the forge.
Just make it so when your weapon reaches max heat, it immediately levels up. Then repurpose the fire crystals for potential bonus levels or something. Hell, at this point you could just remove them in their entirety too.
Seriously, acquiring and improving your gear is the whole point of the game. It’s the extrinsic motivation the game gives players to engage with its gameplay. Grinding for gear. Yet this core progression loop is, to this day, frustrating and borderline disrespectful to players that engage with it.
Back in the days, this approach made sense. Free-to-play monetization was still evolving, and Spiral Knights was basically the only free MMO you could play on Steam. So, progression was deliberately slow, tedious, and inconvenient. If you wanted to speed things up, you could pay.
Every single part of the progression throws another roadblock at you to get you to throw money at it so it gets out of the way. Fire crystals. Orbs of alchemy. Energy, I could go on.
Again, it made sense back in the days. The game’s free and the lights have to be kept on somehow, right? But this is not how you do things in 2026. Media is more abundant and accessible than ever. Players have so many options with games these days. So, do you know what players do when a core feature wastes players’ time and keeps hindering their experience like this?
They leave.
They move on to one of the countless games that respects their time more.
Despite this, some people stay. Most of them won’t be willing to pay to speed up the progression. And, the amount of grinding required for even the most basic stuff like crafting a single 5* weapon is so ludicrous that in the long run, doing anything other than grinding FSC with meta gear becomes a waste of time.
Outside of a handful of events, engaging with most of the game's content becomes objectively inefficient. You're encouraged to grind the same thing over and over because everything else dramatically slows progression down.
That's the opposite of what a healthy progression system should do. If it wasn’t so long and tedious, people wouldn’t feel the need to optimize it as much. They wouldn't just grind FSC ad nauseam until they eventually burn out and quit.
Again the whole point of Spiral Knights is grinding for gear. I wish I could run around in the clockworks levels or do late-game missions with the subpar gear 11 y/o me found cool.
But why would I?
Doing so would dramatically slow down my progression. So instead, I just do what everyone else does. I got a Combuster, a Blitz Needle, and a Chaos set and I grind FSC when I play the game so acquiring stuff doesn’t become a multi-month project. Ironically, a game built around collecting gear actively discourages players from using most of it. The meta is just “what can speed up the egregiously long grinding process?”
The only reason I'm still playing is because I wanted the Snarbolax set when I was a kid and never got it. I've got unfinished business.
Once that's done?
If the game is still in this state, I'll probably leave again.
Speaking of the snarbolax set I briefly want to talk about shadow lairs.
…What happened here?
Making an alternate variation of a level harder by directly changing the level design is great. But artificially boosting the enemies’ stats so much you have to hit some grunt 10 times and they can kill you in one hit?
You’re not making the gameplay more engaging. No one’s skills are being tested here. You’re just forcing players to buy a shitload of sparks of life to compensate.
And why does a key cost 65 000 crowns in energy (mind you energy is cheap as hell at the moment) if the rewards are so subpar? The risk-reward balance is nonexistent.
The issues with Shadow Lairs are basically just numbers problems. Make Shadow Keys easier to obtain, make the rewards worth the effort, and stop turning every enemy into a damage sponge that can one-shot you. Players would actually want to run them, and the game would instantly have a lot more worthwhile late-game content to engage with.
If Spiral Knights genuinely wants to retain the players who returned for this update, it needs to rethink its monetization philosophy.
Modern multiplayer games don't monetize by making core features miserable. It doesn’t work. They largely focus on cosmetics. They don't build frustration into the core progression loop and hope players pay to remove it.
Fix the progression.
Remove the forge, or reduce it to a bonus system.
Make weapons level automatically at maximum heat.
Remove Orbs of Alchemy entirely or repurpose them.
Don’t stop improving progression until people find it enjoyable.
Make the game much more rewarding when doing anything else other than FSC, especially anything late-game.
Revert the extreme shadow lair stat inflation and make shadow keys more accessible.
What makes all of this so frustrating is that most of these problems don't require massive development resources to solve.
I’m not requesting for new levels, bosses, or an engine overhaul here. Ultimately, the core gameplay’s fine.
Many of these issues are fundamentally just numbers problems. Things you fix with an Excel sheet, testing, and an open mind to abandon outdated design philosophies.
The recent update proved something important: Players want to love Spiral Knights. People WILL come back if frustrating design issues get fixed.
But if the game truly wants a second life, it needs to stop treating frustration as a monetization strategy and start making progression genuinely enjoyable.